Archive for the ‘Advice for new financial submissives’ Category

Ever so often I have someone come onto my yahoo Messenger with not only an attitude, but also the idea that just because they like the way I look they will now start serving me. Further more they think that serving me, means blowing verbal sunshine up my beautiful behind. Then when I don’t swoon over such foolish advances, I get rudeness. After putting them in their place, takes about 30 seconds usually, because really they don’t get allotted much more time then that from me having already struck out twice at that point I get the next “fishing” question. What is next? So how do I serve you?

In order to solve this problem once and for all, allow me to simply give you my STEP BY STEP GUIDE to successfully wooing and serving THIS GODDESS. Please keep in mind that each one of us has a different style, a different set of requirements and often times a different public facade. I simply prefer to lay it all out on the table ahead of time. I don’t need to play nice up to possible servants. Those who can not take my bluntness, my demands won’t be able to last me out anyways. So why waste my time, with someone who will not make me happy? Again, I am in it for ME, not to give you free spank you monkey time. Sorry, but Goddess Worship combined with strict financial slavery is not about (wait for it and insert space for dramatic effect here), blowing sunshine up your ass guys. I leave the making excuses for the boys to others now, I did my part in the past. Right now I am a bit busy, but try again next lifetime. So if you want to actually really serve me, let me repeat that statement, IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO REALLY SERVE ME, not just waste both of our time or be a fly by, then read those step by step instructions carefully.

1. Before approaching me on Yahoo Messenger or via email, do your homework first! With other words, actually know what you want from me before coming on, trying to be sleek. I am an old hand at this game boys. I have been bullshitted by boys much sleeker then you. No more, hence the cold shoulder now. Homework is such a hard word for many of you, so you can also call it research if you like. This research should include: Knowing what areas of BDSM you are actually interested in. If financial Domination is not for you, don’t come to me. MY TIME COSTS MONEY PERIOD! If you prefer to pay for counseling instead we can call it that, but then I will charge you by the minute period. See LIVERPERSON! Figure out what you have to offer me and that includes all your gifts you lay before me. Your loyalties, your talents, your thoughts, your intelligents and your material tributes you will be providing me with. RESEARCH ME! For Goddess sakes, before spouting off at the mouth, find out who I am, what interests me, what I have done. It is all there! All over the internet. It is basic 101 for service. YOU SHOULD want to know everything you can before kneeling. If you come to me, stating that you have only seen my website http://www.GoddessBellaDonna.com and you are only there because your insignificant cock is now hard, you already lost my interest! Amaze me, tell me things you learned about me. My vanilla writing, my other websites etc. Show me that you are actually interested in the Goddess, not just getting your damn dick off. YOUR COCK is only interesting to me when I torture it! PERIOD!
2. Now let us say you been a good boy and have done your research and have actually something interesting to tell me. By all means contact me! INSIDE MY PIGGY HEAVEN! There is a lovely chat room you can reach only via the front entrance and via your sign in. (Don’t bookmark it, it is set up that you have to go through the front entrance each time so those who are not paying further can’t reach it after their time is up). Which means you will need to verify to me that you are at least 18 Years old and that you are able to tribute. You may use the $39.99 a months option if you like or a one time tribute for $50.00, but regardless you will not get my time after I have ordered you to join Piggy Heaven outside of the Chat room until I get to know you. You see how easy that is? Now you are age verified and spending verified to me. PLUS you guys get clips, photos, mp3’s etc. I am not asking you for your cash without giving you a lot in return here. Once you have signed up you can come to Yahoo Messenger and let me know you are there, and I will join you if I am available at that moment, or I may just wait for you inside. Either way, it is on my time not yours! If you can not join Piggy Heaven for whatever personal reason, maybe you are scared your significant other will find out, then don’t come empty handed to me! Bring me a token Tribute at base minimum. Make certain it is something I WANT not something you think I should have. Can’t figure out what that is? ALERTPAY.com (CASH) to shalamarsdream@cox.net if always great and my first preference. Alertpay is just like PayPal, they just don’t have the no adult clause. (OH and I should warn you that if you EVER CANCEL your Tribute you are done with me Period). AMAZON.COM E-Certificates to GoddessBellaDonna@cox.net is fine as well. GREENDOT MONEY PACKS give me the numbers and they better be good. Outside of that, I love E-Giftcards to just about any Book store, EBAY, BED & BREAKFAST Company etc. You have enough choices here!
3. Now you have shown me you are able and willing to tribute, and it is time to get to know me. Inside my Piggy Heaven are also my open online and real time positions listed which I have currently available. Pick one if you would like and apply for it to me. Be prepared to answer me questions. Don’t give me standard text book answers either. I want to know what you have to say for yourself, not what someone else wrote down for you.
4. From there it goes on a case to case basis. If you are purely money piggy, expect to be drained whenever I feel like it.

OH and before I forget it. If you decided to be one of those that disappear a lot from service without saying good bye, or letting me know what is going on. You will find that I can be very strict and very demanding if you return. So if you don’t have manners, don’t come to me in the first place.

If you are married, then be aware that females are only so stupid for so long. You will run the risk of ruining your marriage, don’t come crying to me when you do. YOU BETTER BE SURE you can serve me fully and keep your home running properly before coming to me. I have no mercy or regards for fuck ups.

NOTE: I will be cross posting this on my Goddess Bella Donna Temple Blog, and several other places. So don’t start commenting that you saw it somewhere else. I have about 15 Websites, it is very possible you saw it somewhere else. It however better have had the names Goddess Bella Donna, Mysteria or Regina Sunderland under it or it is not legit.
As always my words are not to be posted anywhere else without the proper link to me, and credit to my Name. This is intellectual property!

This is probably one of the most widely debated and argued about subject in financial fetish / domination. Everyone has a different view on this subject and once again I can only give you my opinion on the matter and the reasons behind it. Yes, don’t you find it fascinating that I can actually sit here and tell you why I consider something as “the thing to do” instead of simply telling you …”Because I said so!”
If you would be at my feet right now, you would see a very warm smile coming over my face. That statement didn’t go well with any of us when we grew up, so why should it work now?

To me a first Tribute is a two part show of faith and ability by the submissive towards the Mistress/Master whom he/she had chosen to serve. You have to understand that there are so many charlatans out there, and with the Internet being so wide ranged it has gotten even worst, that truly I believe very few anything anymore.

Before you, the submissive pipe up and tell me that is why you don’t believe you should be required to tribute the person until you are satisfied that this person knows what they are doing and you have talked to them for a long long time, let me explain it like that. You would not go to a Doctor and say. I will not pay you until you have performed the surgery, have done ALL the work and then when I feel healthy again I will pay you. Maybe!

Now, here is my personal input on this. First of all, take a look around and pay attention. If this person is on the internet and you are embarking on an online only internet based financial domination servitude then it is reasonable to say that the lady in question should have SOMETHING up somewhere.
Now not everyone is as extensive as I am, because well I did make this and other areas of BDSM my 24/7, which means I devote a lot of time into not only my submissives, my piggies and acolytes, but also do work like this in teaching about it for those of you who are new and trying to find their way around. I made this my 24/7 because I love what I do. It is my life quiet literally and I do enjoy my submissives, piggies and acolytes to an extend that many couldn’t even imagine. It is a wonderful feeling to wield this sort of power and understanding, to be adored not for your looks alone but your wisdom.

However, as I said, each Lady or Gent who is claiming to be a Dom/me would have at least something out there. (Remember I am only talking online now) be it a Blog they update regularly, a website which reflects their personality or even (gulp) a Niteflirt account at worst.
(Eh GBD, you have a Niteflirt account too why did you gulp?)
Well, truthfully because I had my own phonelines hooked up, but had actual so called submissives rip me off on the phone charges so I returned to NF, which really does not have the best of reputations for being legit for domination.)

So before you went googoo gagga over them, you should have already done some homework and have gotten a bit educated. I personally hold it that I will give you a little bit of my time, but it truthfully depend on how you act, how you speak to me and if you are amusing in any other way then just with your money how much time you receive from me before I SUGGEST you show me that you are able to uphold a full service to me.
You saw the word SUGGEST, because at this stage I want to see how you react. At that point I also don’t put an amount on the first Tribute. This is the ball purely in your court.

You would be surprised just how many oh so eager subs are already out on stage #1, because this is where I hear the first of many excuses. Suddenly either their wife or GF is coming into the room, they don’t feel comfortable tributing because they are not certain this is what they wanted, they just wanted to talk to me. They can’t afford my Tribute requirements. Their credit card is maxed out. They don’t have a credit card. The list goes on and on and on. It actually becomes rather amusing at this point, because now I am guessing which of the 100 Excuses the sub will use.
As you already noticed I did Suggest not demand and did not put an amount on the first Tribute. MMM, so how can you not afford it.
I have let many of subs go with the final remark to them.
“You just showed me that you have no intention on tributing and that you are not able to serve. I did not tell you an amount. You could have simply tributed $10 the way I asked you to do it and I would have seen you are not only able, but also willing. Instead you came up with excuse after excuse when it came to pleasing me! Sorry, but I am not interested in being your entertainment or clown. You have misunderstood the idea of service.”

As you see, it really wasn’t as much about the amount as it was about the eagerness and willingness to do it. Of course as time progresses the amount will reflect, but in the beginning not so much.

When should a sub send his first Tribute? Well, really that depends on what he is trying to accomplish with me. I usually find those willing to give their respect and appreciation of me before they contact me as much more worthy of my fullest attention. But then again as I said, I give a lot without any repayment of sorts. You can get tons of information on me and from me, without me ever knowing you are even there. FREE of Charge, just like that article. Now I would of course be very happy and pleased with a submissive who would go to the side Panel and click the donation button and put any amount in. $5.00, $10.00, $20.00 or $100.00 , it simply shows me that you have appreciated the time I have taken out of MY DAY to talk to you.

But let us be honest, that happening is very seldom and a rare financial fetishist who simply does things like that because it would bring pleasure to me. Yes, those donations out of the blue truly make my day, because they show me that there are still those out there who appreciate wisdom and do want to serve for the sake of service.

So the most common scenario would be within the first 3 meetings. After you have spoken to me a couple of times and have gotten a feel of who and how I am. Will I give you hours of my time? No, I will not. Will I drop everything I am doing for you? No, I will not. But I will chat with you a bit, casually and just talk to find out who or what you are. Keep it simple, keep it casual and answer my questions. If you have questions that I have not already answered 1 million times all over the internet then ask me straight forward. However, and I am very clear on that count, if you are coming at me with turn you on fetish talk purely and it keeps coming back to it, then you will not be suggest but demanded to tribute. In that case a minimum Tribute of $50 to $100 is appropriate as far as I am concerned.

We are not on a coin operated clock. If you have already tributed to me several times and come on the messenger don’t be afraid to greet me even if you don’t have money that day. I already know that you are willing and able, and I know you can’t do it all the time.
But, and here is the but, I do expect you to do it again when and as soon as you can. If you wish to serve me then that is part of it. But that doesn’t mean we can not talk.

Those who have shown me that they are happy to do so, and yes I will gauge your reactions to it as well, are well on their way to finding a good spot in my Temple.

Think realistically for a second. In your vanilla life, who will you give more attention, time and interest to? Someone that is just a dead weight in your life or someone that has actually shown some worth to you? Someone that is always making promises and wants to take all your time up without giving you anything in return, or someone who is eager and happy to have it a two way street?

Well, there you go that should explain a lot. Again, I hear after you get to know that person well a lot. Well here is my problem with that one. You can deal with a person for dozens of years and still never get to know that person well. That truly is a cop out for me.

Nobody likes Spam right? I am talking about the mass emailings to dozens or even hundreds of unsuspecting people. This is at best highly annoying when it is done for a vanilla oriented business, but when it is done by either Domina, Dom or submissive with an almost stock text at that, then it doesn’t become just annoying, but down right credibility damaging!

Yes, I know, here I go again with credibility. Don’t I have anything else on my mind? Well, when it comes to a new to you sub or Domina, that is pretty much all you have to go on to begin with.
How does she/he represent her/himself in public, in writing, in actions to promises made? Since you don’t know this person in real time yet, probably have just watched her from afar for a while, you only have her actions to go on. The same by the way goes for the submissive.

Now I know what you are thinking! How can I tell people otherwise that I am interested in finding either that “paypiggy” or the “Domina that makes me weak”? You have many ways for doing that, but spamming accounts is not the way to do it.

To me all that says is pathetic, desperate and not very imaginative to boot. Of course you can have emails with people, you are supposed to email with them, have little chats via your messenger or on the phone. You do need to get to know those who have gathered your interest, but that does not mean you need to follow the lines of the SexBlog ADS you get into your email constantly.

Personally for me that is a hit delete and block action. I hear about Domina’s in this specific category for some reason doing it a lot, but the funny thing is what doesn’t get spoken off as much are the submissives doing it as well.

I can guarantee you from first hand experience that this is so. With the exact same weasily, over the top text at that. Now, I can not speak for other ladies of course since I am purely myself, but I can tell you that this has not only raised my eyebrows but made me take potential boys I may have had some interest in go off my list.

You have just shown me that:

#1 I am not one bit important and you don’t find me as particularly special, but would rather serve any skirt that comes along. What is there in it for me? Nothing, because you will slut around as soon as you have any expectation brought towards you.

#2 You can not be trusted. You don’t even trust yourself enough to be noticed or to write a single Note to a special and worthy lady. Why would I want something that is so insignificant to begin with?

Now let us forward that to the Ladies for a second. If I, as the Domina, feel like that about the guys when they pull their mass emailings on me, what do you supposed it says about you as a Mistress?

#1 I am desperate and really dont’ care about you in particular. I just want to make some quick money and then you can get lost.

#2 I have nothing important to say. With other words, I am not only too stupid to write something of worth anywhere that would garner attention from someone, but I am also too lazy to put any real effort into this.

#3 I think that you are not smart enough to figure me out.

Ok, some guys love being persued and enjoy the Mistress taking the initiative. There is nothing at all wrong with that either, but to be honest you really have had something at one point that interested me besides your money that I send you a first email. In that case you better feel very honored.

To me however it is more about letting the guys come to me. I am still and will always be the Goddess. The Goddess doesn’t force herself on guys, that would make her nothing less then a little gutter slump. If you are wonderful, powerful and intelligent enough you won’t have to worry. It may take a while, before the submissive males will find you and approach you, but just like any other “religion”, when they do they will either get hooked on you in a hurry or be gone in a hurry.

What surprises me is that it is most of the time the Barbie Dolls who think they have to do the over saturation. Trust me sweey, with your looks, your big breasts they will find you. It may not be for submission at first, but if you have the power you claim you have in your mind and not in your left nipple, then they will learn their lesson quickly. You have nothing to worry about.

A word again to the submissive males and females. Take a look at the Domina’s first and then decide who you think might be worthy of your gift of submission. Remember that you will have to put in quiet a bit of service, time and yes tributes. We are talking about financial domination. Instead of sending out tons of meaningless emails to Mistresses you probably won’t even remember the name from select carefully. Then approach with respect instead of overly done flowerly words.

If you are not known for being a Spam Artist, I will already know that you are interested in serving me. That you have decided that I COULD be the ONE that you could be happy serving. Instead of asking me about what I can do for you (you are already out), give me some general background on yourself.
Who are you? How old are you? Where are you from? Are you single, married, divorced have 12 kids by 10 different women? Are you employed and if yes what is it you do? I don’t want figures, I just want to know that yes you are able to actually serve me in ALL ways I desire and not just with words.
What are your interests, both BDSM/ Fetish and Vanilla. We won’t always be talking about fetish to each other, is there something we have in common?
End your Note friendly and respectful, but not over the top. Now if you have impressed me as both intelligent and worthy of my time, I will respond back. If not, you will be either ignored completely (if you acted like a dumbass) or you will get a friendly, I am sorry but I dont’ think this would work for us with an explanation why.

Remember, that just because you are a Domina or a sub, means that the other end has to be impressed and overcome with honor at your contact.

Spam Artists get blocked, lose their credibility and in the end lose out on a lot of higher end quality people. It takes a bit of real effort in this lifestyle / fetish to make a good match.

Note: If you enjoyed this Article feel free to post it somewhere else. However, this is a copyright and belongs to my intellectual property. If you wish to repost, please be certain you give me the credit and the link to this post. Thank you for reading and following the simple Rules.

I am going to try to do this as delicately as I can and yet still stay honest and straight forward. Financial Mistresses can fall prey to the economic crises just as easily as every other person out there. Since most of us are either luxury pets *that I what I call those that claim not to work for a living and just live of their subs and live in the lap of luxury*, are hard working folks by day and financial Mistresses by night, are Pro-Mistresses who may love what they do but make their living with their lifestyle, or are Entrepreneurs who are largely depended on the economy for their income, the economy will and does affect our livelihood directly.

I get so tired of Idiots sitting there and making the statement, that a money Mistress in financial straights or problems has not right to call her-self a financial Domme. I have one thing to say to you on that one, I hope for your sake that you never lose your job, your income or your home. These days all that can go from one second to the next.

I for one am an Entrepreneur, I make my money largely of the Sale of my writing (both articles and my self published books), my Websites both Adult and Non-Adult, my Clips4Sale Store, and my online counseling as well as Phone domination. Couple that with Pro-Sessions and financial domination. As you see for me each of my Venues is dependent on the economy doing well, people having extra leisure income and companies not being or going broke. I started unwittingly going freelance at the onset of the recession and really never fully had time to get my name of the ground as a writer, so now I am naturally stuck in the in between. Think publishing houses, who would you rather give your spare budget to? A guaranteed seller with a name or a newcomer?

I am not a Supermodel in looks, am as real as they come and have the benefit of many years of experience, which will make me also extremely intimidating to most, as well as more demanding. Why? Because I can be demanding, since I bring a lot to the table in return. I do not claim to be a Kindergarten Mistress, but fully speak out in the open about ALL my experiences, which is another thing that makes a lot of bois not only uncomfortable but fearful to get lost in me. (foolish really since that is exactly what they should be wanting – getting lost in my will). What does that have to do with this subject? Simply stated that these Days there are many who are just like me. We work hard in our various chosen fields to make our bills. There are times we make them and other times we can’t, just like everyone else.

But what about all those high money Tributes to the Amazing Goddesses we always read about? What about them? At times they are real, at times they are a fluke and they happen, but most of the time a $1000 and up tribute these days is something that comes seldom. Then the money is usually tied up in some sort of Gift Card, E-Certificate etc which means in the end the sub controls what the Mistress gets to spend the gift on. Doesn’t sound very submissive to me. Think about it, if I want $200 to make a payment for something I want and I need it in cash and you send me a Gift Certificate to a shoe store, then it really doesn’t do me much good.

But what about all the Tribute Porn I see all the time? Tons of photos some of these ladies have of Jewelry they receive, shoes they get bought for them, hands full of cash they hold with their middle finger up in the air and pig so and so having tributed?
Well to be honest, I am not saying that this couldn’t be the truth, but have you ever heard of things being staged?

Look the thing is simple. A lot of bois have the misunderstanding that if a Mistress has a lot of pigs, gets a lot of presents, is constantly taking exotic vacations, gets handfuls of money and is spoiled she is a great money Mistress. I mean the proof is right there!

The simple fact is that, there may be some that have been lucky enough to find a rich submissive that can keep them in style, may have a couple well to do subs that don’t mind spending the money, but most of us don’t. So knowing the psychology of easy to fool bois they stage it.
Anyone can go to the bank withdraw $1500 before they pay their Rent and bills and then hold it in their hand like a fan. But the caption…last nights haul on it, take the photo and done. Now you can take your own money back and pay your bills. To the bois is looks as if …hey she took it rich, and try to give. She must be good.
Gifts of Amazon Gift Lists are the same way. I can fill this stuff up and purchase my own stuff. You can’t see who bought it. So when I see a list that is constantly empty, I as a Business Woman start questioning it.

My question is, should a Mistress that is so obviously not needing you and who will just laugh at you without any remorse be so much more deserving of your service then one that works hard for what she has and is a human with worries like everyone else?

To me, and granted that may be because I am one of them, I would think that giving gifts, cash tributes to someone that works hard at what she does, that is more appreciative of what you give and is willing to reward you and appreciate you in return, would be not only a wiser choice but also the more arousing one as a sub.
At least you know you are really making a huge difference in her life.

What I do not agree with is the deceit so often perpetrated by so many of my fellow Ladies. If you are in as much financial strain as everyone else, have to work double hard to make your bills etc, why pretend that you are so much above everyone else? Is that what bois really want? If you do, then you are setting yourself up to be scammed and in my eyes have your rude awakening coming.

Think about this as well! How can a financial Domme be getting rich, if the average Joe does barely have enough money to pay his own bills these days. Will the bois take from their bill money to give it to her? If they do, should she allow them to do this? I leave you with that…Think about it for yourself.

Greetings to A/all!

Goddess BellaDonna invited me to author some material, from a subbie’s point of view, about getting started in Financial Domination. I am a member over at MyFinancialDommeSpace, a social networking site for FinDommes and financial submissives… which is how GBD and I became acquainted. I joined the site in December 2008 and have enjoyed it immensely since!  I am honored to have been invited over here and hope that you may find helpful some of the things that I’ve gone through as a relative newbie to FinDom!

I have a background in “traditional” BDSM, having seen ProDommes (mostly one in particular) regularly since the mid 1990’s. However, I had not participated in FinDom in any of that time… and had in fact even had a negative view of this fetish for a while! Inadvertently, I had violated a creed of mine that goes something like this: “Don’t trash someone else’s kink, as you would not want the same done to you”.

Even though I had a somewhat negative view of the fetish, perhaps colored by the growing legions of what might be called “insta” Dommes (here only for a hit and run, get rich quick scheme on unwitting submissives), I had secretly fantasized about the CONTROL aspect of it. Control and power exchange are the two items that “make me tick” in general BDSM… the mental aspect that make me want to drop to my knees, to submit, to give over whatever power I maintain in the vanilla world to my Mistress.

Giving money over, with no expectations of anything in return, is really one of the most selfless acts of submission there is. I was curious to try this, so when I happened upon MyFinancialDommeSpace while randomly surfing the net one day… I thought I would give it a go and see what happened. Much to my surprise, the community there was welcoming and receptive!

I met several wonderful Dommes, and a few fellow subbies there too. The advice that GBD offers in previous articles here about taking things slowly rather than jumping in straight away and promising the sun and moon to the first hot Goddess that crosses your path is solid and should be REQUIRED reading for any subby out there.

I’ve been blogging on MFDS as well, and here’s some excerpts of one I posted that, from experience, I would offer as advice to newbies joining a social network like MyFinancialDommeSpace:

PROFILES

I can’t stress enough how much filling out a profile helps avoid wasting ANYONE’S time. Both for the subbie, and for the Dommes out there. It can be done without divulging info that could be used for unscrupulous purposes… either by other Dommes for unconsensual blackmail, or by unsuspecting vanilla people googling you.

Do treat anything you put on the internet as potentially falling into anyone’s hands. However, as long as you don’t do something really foolish like put your real name, your work email alias, or something else in your profile or board handle that would immediately associate you with the info… profile info here should be relatively safe. I chose a relatively off the wall handle for this purpose… and to boot, ended up misspelling it a bit unintentionally! However, it has a decent side-effect of being less likely to show up for a google search that I hadn’t intended to be the target of. Guess it makes someone too nosy for their own good have to work a bit harder at it

Don’t use one word responses or leave important sections blank. You’ll either get no interest, or perhaps some attention from “hit and run” types that don’t care about compatibility or more so about just a quick wallet drain. I’ve found that having a reasonably-filled out profile… done honestly… has helped me to get in contact with those that share similar views on this fetish. And it’s likely helped those who don’t share them to avoid wasting their valuable time on me in return (hehe).

Oh… and do be honest about likes, limits, etc. Especially limits. It helps parties determine right away if it is worthwhile to better get to know each other, or just move on with a minimum of fuss and time being wasted!

On the other side of the fence… Seeing a Domme’s profile helps me get a feel for her personality, style, interests, etc. It’s great for basic info and not having to waste her time with the same bazillion questions she’d get asked repeatedly in chat or messages by potential subbies. Even non-scene stuff like musical and literary interests are fun to see… it gives some nice ice-breaker things to talk about. I would tend to just pass up and move along if I saw a one line profile like “Losers… how much do you make… send it to me NOW”. Probably just like a Domme would move along if she saw a subbies profile empty or with one word responses to everything that doesn’t really help her much.

FORUMS/CHAT/OTHER SITE FEATURES

Before you chat up a Domme, take the time to read the forums (if your site offers such a feature). See what is talked about. There are often topics related to advice or experiences from both Dommes and subs that are helpful to read. You’ll also get a sense of who knows their stuff, what the personality and interests of the person behind the screen name are, and so on. Someone who participates in the site actively may be more likely to be genuinely interested in bdsm and FinDom rather than just a “cash and dash” type looking for quick payday at your expense. If you’re looking for some interaction with a Domme, these participants are your likely best bets

MyFinancialDommeSpace has a “poll” feature that can be very insightful to get a feel on how a Domme feels about issues or philosophy within the fetish. Participate and read the responses of others. You’ll get to see if you and your candidate Domme ”agree” a lot of the time. If you do, that’s a good sign! If not, maybe you should think twice and consider someone more compatible.

Groups can be worthwhile too. These generally focus on a specific sub-fetish or interest. Join some that interest you and see who belongs to these. Groups can be a good sign of shared interests and fetishes. Some sites have chat rooms… these can be useful to get to know people too in a safe, anonymous way.

Obviously, there are many ways (or sites) to meet Dommes online. Even YouTube has a fairly large collection of videos that Dommes put up to “express themselves”. For me, joining a social site like MyFinancialDommeSpace was invaluable to help sort out the skilled Dommes from those that don’t really know what they’re doing (other than grabbing your cash and going, that is). I’d highly recommend going this route!

Do you ever wonder or even worry about your credit score in your vanilla life? Do you realize just how important having a good credit score is to get anything you really want and need? Even renting an Apartment can become down right impossible when your Credit Score is bad. Purchasing anything with no Credit or bad Credit is a nightmare.

So what does having a good Credit Score to do with financial domination you wonder right about now! Well let me explain it to you in as simple terms as I possibly can.

Just like with the Credit Score in your vanilla life, your “credit Score” as a financial Submissive is dependent on your ability to uphold your part of the bargains you strike, your commitment to making your payments in full and on time, to be responsible in your spending habits and to not go over what you can really afford.

Your Word is your bond in so many more ways then you can even phantom most of the time. Making commitments that you have no intention of holding will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the Ass. Just like with a regular Credit Score, your potential Creditors (in that case your financial Mistress), will look at your Credit Score you have amassed. In some cases all the Data may not be laid out right in front of her, but with a little digging she is sure to find out.

Imagine the Mistresses talking to each other like a Hotline at the Credit Bureau, sooner or later if you are a constant slackered, a wastrel or a perpetual liar your name will come up on the Hot List. Yes, there may be an overflow of potential Mistresses, but in the end those that could possibly be worthy of your service will at this point be ready to just pass you up.

Being new to financial domination only excuses you from foolish mistakes and fears for so long. You still know that if you make a commitment, sign a contract, make a promise or apply for a situation you are now responsible to uphold the terms of that agreement.

Sure everyone makes a mistake or two, but constantly and setting out to bankrupt your promises from the get go just makes you a big waste of time.

So how do you build up your financial Credit Score? By being honest with yourself first of all. Can you chew what you are biting off? Do you have the means to follow up on your obligations? You wouldn’t go into a BMW Dealership and sign a contract to purchase the top of the line vehicle, if you don’t even have enough cash to purchase a Bike? If you are only in it for the dream, then read all you want about the fantasies, look at the free stuff out there, go to Youtube and watch the clips there, but don’t approach a Mistress with promises and lies.

Let’s just say you do have enough financial fluidity to be able to tribute a bit on a regular bases, but are still new to the entire scene then tread carefully. Go slow and do some research first. That doesn’t mean chatting up every hot pair of boobs you feel attracted to. Yes, I know that may be offensive, but for most newbie’s that is exactly what they go for. Looking for more then the skin deep comes with age and character, sadly I don’t see too much of it out there anymore.

Read up a little bit about the person you have your eye set on. Form your own opinions about her. Beware of slander! Yes, I do want to bring that up. Just because you hear a bunch of negative stuff from those that have been rejected by her, or from fellow ladies doesn’t mean it is all written in stone either. Talk to her in person. Approach her respectfully and go from there.

Like I said financial domination takes some common sense. You are dealing with your money, your lively hood here. Go slow, be safe and please think a little.

Understand that just pretty words are a dime a dozen. If I would have a Dollar for each time someone told me I was divine and worthy of so much, I would be rich right now and would never have to work again. Pretty words alone mean anything to me. I already know that I am smart, lovely and divine. I don’t need you to tell me that. I want to see what you have to offer me, both intellectually and financially.

Financial domination is about your turning into mush knowing that you are helpless in my power and are willing to beg that up with your cash going into my hands.
Consider your first Tribute to me a down payment to a solid foundation of a house. You wouldn’t want to lay a faulty or weak foundation.

If I give you the credit to believe you will be trust worthy, then don’t screw that up. See you know the word credit came from somewhere. Credit in this case simply means…I give you the credit of doubt that you won’t mess up, are not a liar and are going to be worthy of my attention and training. As a financial submissive, you already know that this involves money, gifts and service. You shouldn’t even try to act surprised.

Your Credit Score will rise over time, and that means to you that you will be able to get bigger and better things with your credibility. Can you imagine the lovely service you will be able to provide a Lady of Quality once you are known to her as a gentleman with high credibility?

Think about it!

Applying for a position with a financial Mistress is like applying for a position with a 100K a year situation!
Let this statement soak in for a few moments first. See if you can find the sense in this statement. Really ponder on that for a moment.

If your first humorous thought was that the reason for that statement would be that you better make 100K a year or up before you can become a money submissive, you have missed the point entirely.

If you thought that this would be the amount of money you would be required to tribute to your Mistress to please her, then I have to mention that this would entirely depend on who your Mistress is.

The answer I am looking for would have probably not even come into most of your minds. It actually is rather simple, but most do not see it in this concept.

If you apply for a Position with a Company that can make you 100K a Year, you will make certain that you prepare yourself appropriately. One you will do a background check on the Company, which means you will actually try to find out as much as possible about the Company in question. What do they do? How do they treat their Employees? What is their reputation? Is this a new Company with fresh and newly innovative Ideas, or is this a Company which is built on Tradition? What are their requirements? How do they handle the interview process? Who do you have to contact to get the interview? When is the best time to get the Interview?

Once you have all that information gathered and processed, you can make the decision if you want to take the next step forward. Remember that not every Position is necessarily correct for you. For some of you it is best to go with a fresh face, for others they need the structure and strictness of those around for a while. Neither is right nor wrong, only a personal requirement that you need to think on. If you do, you need to get your-self together. Send a letter of introduction or submit an application with resume. If you have worked in that particular area before you would give some references. If you are completely new, you may wish to add in a few sentences what you believe you could bring to the table to edify the company and make you a good candidate.

Time for crunch time, you have garnered an appointment / interview with the Boss or the hiring Manager. (Yes, in some cases you may need to speak to a first in command before you are even allowed to speak to the Boss.) How is your behavior? Are you rude, demanding and obnoxious? Are you dressed less then desirable, are not clean and drunk? No you put your best step forward and mind your manners. You think carefully before you speak and you are confident but humble. A first impression is always difficult to undo.

As you see a lot of hard work goes into applying for such a thought after Position. As a submissive who wishes to find a worthy Dominant, be it Master or Mistress, to serve you should not put any less effort into it.

What I see instead is so many of you treating this process as if you were trying to find just any job, going from McDonalds, Burger King to Jack in the Box filling out application after application, just hoping someone will take you on. You hold no pride in yourself or the job you wish to garner. Not only are you insulting yourself with such a behavior, but in many ways are insulting the personage you are applying to as well.

For my personal opinion, I hold very little stage into a sub who has applied to every skirt in town and now has “at last” made his way to me as a last resort. You did not treat me like a Goddess, but like a J>O>B Queen…just over broke Queen. With other words desperate enough to take any piece of trash that comes along.

When I receive a request from you to talk to me and you come at me, clearly showing that you are rather clueless as to whom you are speaking to, what my particular strength are, have no questions of import to ask me, then I am already inclined to treat you like the bottom feeder you represent.

Understand that this may not disqualify you for a money play with me, meaning I will take your cash because after all you have represented yourself more as a community whore then a sub-licant, but you have disqualified yourself for any serious chances of service to me in the long run.

When guys first start out in financial fetish it is often a very confusing time for them. Getting a chubby just by thinking about being used for your money, drained of all your funds and having your wallet raped is one thing, but if you are planning on doing more then just think about it, you need to start thinking with both of your heads.
Now that may be a silly thing to tell you as a financial Domme, but I prefer for you newbies to be educated and stay safe within this particular fetish.

Financial domination is a fetish by the way and can either be as a stand alone stimulus or as a tie in with other BDSM or fetish related scenes. Do not confuse financial fetishism with being a Sugar Daddy either. A sugar daddy loves to spoil his lady, but he expects things in return and wants to call the shots. A financial fetishist does not act or should not think that way.

If you have the financial fetish bug, then it is just like any other addiction. I mean if you are truly deeply turned on by it, it is just as important to you as for a “regular vanilla” guy to have sex. You will not be able to just walk away from it and if you do you will be truly feel it as a major loss. For that reason you need to be smart when you find your Lady.
A D/s relationship is like every other relationship with a few minor differences. Sex is not by its nature important in a D/s relationship in this area. But that is individual to each couple. I for one will not allow absolute and 100 % chastity or abstinence for life, in fact I even insist that my slaves have physical release and cum, but they will never ever have sex with me. If sex must be part of it, I will find them or couple them with an appropriate partner or they will have a romantic life partner. That is not my place nor my desire. I am married myself and my sexuality (body) is for my “God” only. Remember I consider myself a Goddess – he is my consort!

Now what should you do when you first start out?
Read, read a lot. Matter of fact read just about everything you can get your little hot hands on. Read the blogs of the ladies you find interesting, read what they write in chat rooms. Read responses they give to others. Do they have anything of value to offer, or is it just simpering cyber babble? Can they hold and intelligent conversation with you that does not purely consist of “Pay my …. you Loser!”. Now that may be a turn on to you, but will not last in the long run. Think past the obvious attraction. A beautiful hottie with a size 40DD chest and a 25 inch waist, that has no more brains then a Venus fly trap may make wonderful eye candy, but is it not the best option for someone that will govern your finances and your life.
Ruination is one of the “sexiest” facets of this fetish …actually in that case it would be considered financial masochism, but it is also one of the most fool hardy. If you go for total ruination, not only are you fucking your life up, but you will also become completely absolute to the lady you have given all your money to. The type of female who will allow you complete ruination is not interested in your welfare nor is she interested in you. You are nothing more to her then a literal ATM. When you run dry she is gone and you better not complain because she never lied about her being a predator to you. That is what drew you to her in the first place. Now you may have the strongest hard on during the session, but allow me to point out that when you can’t eat for a week, pay your bills or have the creditors knocking on your door, it stops being funny.

So what can you do? Simple, find a solid and careful solution. Go for a long term arrangement. If you need the financial deplete find a lady who is capable of providing you with both. Find one who can control her-self and her greed. Make regular payments to her (weekly) but keep them smallish (anywhere from $50 on up in most cases). Then once a month you can have a feast. A nice financial rape. If she is solid and you and her have discussed your budget honestly, then she will not go over what you can take. She will make you short and hurt you a little, but your essentials will not be ravished and taken. With other words, you won’t have any play money for yourself for a week or two, but all your obligations will still be taken care off.

Don’t just jump into Ownership. If any lady wants to really own you without a trial period and training I have to wonder. I am very often reluctant with this word. Can I financially own you? Yes of course I can and I have done so on several occasions, but if you really want that it will take you several years of fullest service to me before I do. “You are mine” is not the same as ” I own you”. Take a consideration period or look if she talks to me about one. A consideration period is essentially a courting period. It is a getting to know period. I usually hold it at 90 Days.

Human facts shown me over many years, that guys and girls loose interest in each other after about 30 days as newness wears off. Suddenly things become more routine and here it will already show if this is a good match and she can keep your interest and you hers or not. By 90 days the first tremors are gone and now it depends on if she is truly worth her salt. Are you looking forward to speaking to her or not. Is she reasonably available to you even when you are not on a payday? Is she grateful and generous with her praise? Do you feel good about giving her your money, not just the excitement of it, but even after? Do not get confused, doubt and guilty feelings…the feelings I am pathetic and what an idiot are normal after large drainings for a sub, but in general does it make you happy to please her?
Are you looking for ways to do things for her without her asking you and having to nag you? Is she constantly demanding things even when she knows you can not afford it? Do you find excuses to not do your assignments for her and pay her her due or are you looking for ways to make even more for her, because you feel she deserves better?

Your answers will show you the way. If you don’t feel like her welfare is the most important thing to you or that you are appreciated for what you do. If she is to good to say thank you for your hard work and the gifts, then perhaps you need to reconsider your choices.

You need – MUST – feel content in your choice or it is not the right one.

Money and what is appropriate.
Each lady has a different view on this so I can only give you a ball park figure on mine. Since I have a purely financial fetishists as well as worker/financial submissives I take everything on a person to person basis.
I usually suggest that a regular tithe would be around 10% of their net income. Some of course can not afford that and for them I will ask that they do some work for me as well. The more work you are willing to do for me, the more lax I am going to be with money. However, you will be required to pick up at least one position for me. Make it appropriate.

Now picking a position is not during the consideration period unless you wish it to be. I do not expect it. I do however expect you to learn, work hard and pay your regular dues.

Yes, I know that word payment is not as sexy as tribute, tithe or gift. But there is a reason I use this word. I would have to request a payment to be made to me regularly, consider it dues to the membership into my stable if you must. However I prefer tributes, gifts and tithe. Those however I would never have to ask for or request. Those are done and given freely and generously without the lady saying a thing. This is where a supplicant shows his true desire to serve me. Those who do not make payments, but tribute to me are those who will be around a lot longer I can assure you.

Not because I decide it, but because they truly feel the need to please me. They wake up and go to bad thinking of me and to them my smile and praise is like the sun to them. I appreciate those piggies, subs or acolytes a lot more then one I have to force to do something.

Do not tribute to the first skirt who makes demands boys! Just as you must have respect, you can expect respect as well. Look around and like I said read. Take your time, but then get committed to one who is worth it.

A good match is essential to your happiness. You may find it surprising that the hottest chick on the block is not always the most obvious. Again know your motivation.

An initial tribute or a first tithe. I personally have set my options for first tribute high and have given you options to pick from, that is done for a reason. I want to see what you will do and which you will pick. I can tell by the option what your devotion to my desires are going to look like, if you are only surface deep or is you truly want me to be happy.