Core strength and benefits of being a Bitch!
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Before I get started on this one, I would like to mention three small facts:
#1 There is a big difference between being a “Bitch” and being an obnoxious Cunt!
#2 If you have not read “Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov do so now Ladies. It is vanilla, but oh my Goddess it is delicious and oh so very true!
#3 The Advice given in this Article can be just as simply taken in your regular vanilla relationships of all kinds, but I found it very fitting to D/s “Relationships”.
This has been inspired by the above mentioned book, so I would like to give credit to it with this.
What is a Bitch first of? Well, to many of us the word Bitch is extremely unsavory, it denotes a rude, crude and obnoxious women who is all about herself, constantly complaints, is more then a bit out there and most of the time couldn’t tell her arse from her head because she is so full of herself. She is usually the woman we all hate and despice. For clarification of this Article, I would like to put the word “Cunt” on the description above instead of “Bitch”.
In actually on the quiet the contrary, the Bitch is a real sweatheart. She is classy, never out of step with herself, makes herself a priority but is willing to schedule your needs in on her time table. As Miss Sherry Argov stated in her book:”She is as sweet as a Georgia Peach! Sweet on the outside with a strong inner core!” That is exactly the kind of Bitch I wish to talk about here.
Here are some CORE STRENGTH Benefits for being a Bitch.
1. She is NEVER DEPENDENT on anyone but herself. When you continue your own independence, nobody else can dictate to you how you spend your money or your time. You won’t have to tolerate unsavory characters in your life, people who are ignorant in your eyes, or even worst yet who disrespect you on a personal level. A Bitch, due to her independence has a choice to ALLOW YOU to be part of her consciousness or not. With other words, you have to have value to her, or you are out of there. This goes very well with D/s and especially financial domination. I never but all my eggs in one basket, my sources of income are varied so no matter what happens I have never to depend on a submissive to tribute me. I learned the hard way over my years online, that you can not trust the words of those whose face you can not see. It is wonderful when the adoration happen as promised, on time etc., but I NEVER DEPEND on it or anyone else to do what they promise to me.
2. She knows her worth and doesn’t need to run after anyone!
I am to be wooed, not to woe. I am to be pursued, not to pursue. I am sorry Ladies, but I don’t belief in the feminist movement. It has caused us more damage when it went to far, then it did us good. Yes, the beginning reasons were valid and needed to be fixed, but then it simply went to far. We didn’t give it equal rights, we simply gave the guys freedom to act like Assholes. Personally, I have to say that there isn’t one guy out there who I am willing to run after. The statement men love to give so often is “There are plenty of fish in the Sea!” works well for me. As D/s standard, it looks stupid to me when I as a Goddess have to run after every Tom, Dick & Harry, be on every profile as Friend without even talking to them, or be everyone’s “Buddy” to be adored. When I read the Forum Posts on SPAM Emails and how the NEW MEAT is being attacked here the moment they join, it makes me sick. What in blazes is wrong with you, do you not think you have enough worth to be discovered on your own merit? You are not a Hamburger, you don’t have to have 1 Million Served. Besides honestly all you are doing is give the guys a big head. OH wow, check her out. I am must be really worth a lot, she is so desperate to have me. Ehm, NO THANK YOU! As much as it completes me as a Goddess to have worthy, loyal and yes tributing subs *since it is one of my turn ons after all and yes makes my life easier – isn’t that the point partially?*, that sub DOESN’T HAVE TO BE YOU! You will woe me, pursue me, convince me that I should give you my time, my mind, my smile, my grace and not the other way around. I AM NOT CHEAP NOR FREE! You have to work to get me and believe it or not Ladies, when they do, they will value YOU a lot more too. Fly bys don’t get “Getting to know you free time either!” Sorry, too old for the kindergarten games. Seriously ….guy speech and female speech are different. LEARN IT!
3. She is never fully comprehensible!
Just when they thought that they figured you out, had you all nice and wrapped up in a nutshell, you change just a little on them. I am not talking about completely changing your attitude, ways of thinking your core being should never completely change, but you should not be afraid to grow, develop, evolve and simply become a greater even better you. When you become to predictable, it only breeds boredom and they will try to test you. Know that EVERY MALE will sooner or later try to test you and if they see you as someone they can manipulate, will lose respect for you. “I just want to be your FRIEND!” Translation, I really like you, I can always be there to cry on your shoulder, but you are just not good enough to serve. OH but you will due when MY MISTRESS or the person I run after had enough of my shit for a while. Then I come to you!” Sorry darlings, no dice! When they can figure you at that well, that you will actually be dumb enough to fall for this, then you need to switch it up a bit.
4. She doesn’t need you, you need her!
Take a note of who is left wanting. If you have a sub who is constantly too busy with other things to “pencil” you in or to serve you, he isn’t about you. He is all about himself and in his own mind you are just an adult entertainer there to provide a service when he feels like serving. Those to me are more the fetishists and fly by boys. LOL do you still blame me for my Pay to Play POLICY with them? Why treat them differently, they don’t pay me anymore respect then that. It is a Business Arrangement that works well for both sides. I won’t get too attached to you, get aroused by the play time while I drain your wallet and you get to pretend for just a moment that you are actually really serving a Lady of Class and Style. My subs with which I am building a relationship over time or have done so and they suddenly disappear from the face of the earth, of course receive more care. I will send a few (normally never more then 5) messages through to see what is going on with them. I am worried, since most of them are far away from me. However, if after the 5th and LAST MESSAGE from me I don’t get an “update”, then it ends there. You have chosen to break contact with me, good luck and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. As much as I enjoy you, I don’t need you! Money, amusement, entertainment, submission, conversation, I can get from anyone. Sorry honey, it was nice knowing you. There is nothing worst for male then knowing just how little the lady actually needs him.. I may want you, but I don’t need you!
5. My Stress is my stress, but I won’t stress over you!
I am human, a divine natured human, but never the less human. Sadly I will have problems, stress, bills etc like every other breathing human being. Get over yourself if you think that Goddess’ don’t deal with real life. Get an education in reality, often we have enough real life issues to deal with on top of your lame shit. LOL. My stress is my stress, but what I won’t stress about is YOU. I don’t have enough time or energy, no intend to add you to my list of stress factors. If you become more stress then joy to me, you are gone! Period!!!! Problems arise and should be talked out in an adult and mature manner. If you think you can pout at me like a kid, if you think you can bully me around, if you think you can threaten me with living, then don’t let the door hit you on the way out. If you have legit issues to discuss with me, then I will listen. I will think them over and then I will tell you what my intake on it is. We can either come to a mutually satisfactory agreement, or we can part ways. Again, some are with you for a season, some for a day and others for a lifetime. A subs responsibility is to eliminate stress from my life, not to add to it.
6. My time is valuable and my Time is my Time – I am in control of it!
How often have you seen guys come to you and DEMAND that you give them of your valuable time. They want it for free, they want it now and they really are just about themselves. In D/s as well as in vanilla. I will not and can not be bullied. If you make an appointment with me, you have 10 minutes to be there. After 10 minutes of you being late, you have a minus point against you and I may never give you another appointment with me. That goes for real time, online or phone. My husband has been taught early on by me that if you run late to a meeting you better call me and let me know, because I will be gone if you are late without a heads up. If you are stuck at work, in a car accident, stuck in traffic, then you let me know. But if you just simply forgot, left too late or thought I would wait for you …. NO! I will give you as much time as I see fit. I am a very busy lady and I work a lot. Let’s take a poll, how many of you work out of your house and are freelancers? How many of you work anywhere from 10 to 16 hours a day every day? How many of you would like to be paid for your time when it is that short already? I see this a lot… But I am giving you of my time too! Yes, you are and thank you for visiting me. But who came to whom here and who is claiming he wants to serve me? Who is it again that is asking for whose time? MMMM. I am sorry, but that old excuse won’t fly with me. Now if I am not busy, feel generous then maybe. Oh and the first time I see a fly by stop by and tell me…Oh just dropping by to say hello and how are you and then think I am going into a long conversation, good luck with that one too. My response. “I am fine thank you for asking and yourself? Oh good, now what can I do for you today?” You have 10 seconds to get my interest and if it doesn’t involve serving me since you are not one of mine and you never will be, then it better be damn good!
7. She can still laugh at herself!
A sense of humor folks can cure a lot of illnesses. I can laugh about a lot of thinks in my life, trust me my laughter saved my life more times then not. What I never find a laughing matter however and neither should you, is disrespect, liars, and those who set out to destroy your reputation. The laughter stops here. And that goes for both genders. If you claim to be my friend, then you better behave as it. I don’t need false friends any more then I need subs. I would love to have them, but I don’t need them. Trust me I do enough stupid shit all day long to keep myself laughing for hours.
8. She is worth more then you can ever phantom!
She is a wonderful woman, smart, intelligent and beautiful in her own rights. She doesn’t feel like she has to act as if she is better then everyone else. Being herself and being glorious is enough for her. She doesn’t need your approval, nor does she need to put another person down just to make herself look better in everyone elses eyes. She doesn’t know everything, but she knows she can learn everything she sets her mind to. She is a Goddess and a Queen in her own Realm, but she is also kind, loving and generous. She won’t talk you out of a compliment, but accept it graciously. Why not? She is a wonderful person. She won’t compete with other females. If you can’t see how wonderful she is, then oh well go somewhere else. She didn’t want you anyways. Can take her “sub” or “honey” away from her? Sure you can, because she won’t even try to fight to keep him. If he is that fickle why would she want him to begin with? After all, he will leave the next on and the next one. Cheaters will always be cheaters and she doesn’t have time in her life for HIS DRAMA!
9. She has other interests besides you!
NOTE: As always this material is copyright to me. So if you would like to post it somewhere else, be certain to link it back to the original post and give me the credit for it. The above named book is available via Amazon.com so take a look at it and please use one of my affiliate buttons. You save money and I get a kick back. Thank you! If you are part of MFDS you will see this Article posted there as well in the Goddess Bella Donna’s BDSM & Fetish Classroom. Yes I cross posted it is ok!
GoddessBellaDonna @ July 1, 2009
So you want to serve me? The next step..
Posted in: Advice for new financial submissives, From the submissives point of view! | Comments (0)
Ever so often I have someone come onto my yahoo Messenger with not only an attitude, but also the idea that just because they like the way I look they will now start serving me. Further more they think that serving me, means blowing verbal sunshine up my beautiful behind. Then when I don’t swoon over such foolish advances, I get rudeness. After putting them in their place, takes about 30 seconds usually, because really they don’t get allotted much more time then that from me having already struck out twice at that point I get the next “fishing” question. What is next? So how do I serve you?
In order to solve this problem once and for all, allow me to simply give you my STEP BY STEP GUIDE to successfully wooing and serving THIS GODDESS. Please keep in mind that each one of us has a different style, a different set of requirements and often times a different public facade. I simply prefer to lay it all out on the table ahead of time. I don’t need to play nice up to possible servants. Those who can not take my bluntness, my demands won’t be able to last me out anyways. So why waste my time, with someone who will not make me happy? Again, I am in it for ME, not to give you free spank you monkey time. Sorry, but Goddess Worship combined with strict financial slavery is not about (wait for it and insert space for dramatic effect here), blowing sunshine up your ass guys. I leave the making excuses for the boys to others now, I did my part in the past. Right now I am a bit busy, but try again next lifetime. So if you want to actually really serve me, let me repeat that statement, IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO REALLY SERVE ME, not just waste both of our time or be a fly by, then read those step by step instructions carefully.
1. Before approaching me on Yahoo Messenger or via email, do your homework first! With other words, actually know what you want from me before coming on, trying to be sleek. I am an old hand at this game boys. I have been bullshitted by boys much sleeker then you. No more, hence the cold shoulder now. Homework is such a hard word for many of you, so you can also call it research if you like. This research should include: Knowing what areas of BDSM you are actually interested in. If financial Domination is not for you, don’t come to me. MY TIME COSTS MONEY PERIOD! If you prefer to pay for counseling instead we can call it that, but then I will charge you by the minute period. See LIVERPERSON! Figure out what you have to offer me and that includes all your gifts you lay before me. Your loyalties, your talents, your thoughts, your intelligents and your material tributes you will be providing me with. RESEARCH ME! For Goddess sakes, before spouting off at the mouth, find out who I am, what interests me, what I have done. It is all there! All over the internet. It is basic 101 for service. YOU SHOULD want to know everything you can before kneeling. If you come to me, stating that you have only seen my website http://www.GoddessBellaDonna.com and you are only there because your insignificant cock is now hard, you already lost my interest! Amaze me, tell me things you learned about me. My vanilla writing, my other websites etc. Show me that you are actually interested in the Goddess, not just getting your damn dick off. YOUR COCK is only interesting to me when I torture it! PERIOD!
2. Now let us say you been a good boy and have done your research and have actually something interesting to tell me. By all means contact me! INSIDE MY PIGGY HEAVEN! There is a lovely chat room you can reach only via the front entrance and via your sign in. (Don’t bookmark it, it is set up that you have to go through the front entrance each time so those who are not paying further can’t reach it after their time is up). Which means you will need to verify to me that you are at least 18 Years old and that you are able to tribute. You may use the $39.99 a months option if you like or a one time tribute for $50.00, but regardless you will not get my time after I have ordered you to join Piggy Heaven outside of the Chat room until I get to know you. You see how easy that is? Now you are age verified and spending verified to me. PLUS you guys get clips, photos, mp3’s etc. I am not asking you for your cash without giving you a lot in return here. Once you have signed up you can come to Yahoo Messenger and let me know you are there, and I will join you if I am available at that moment, or I may just wait for you inside. Either way, it is on my time not yours! If you can not join Piggy Heaven for whatever personal reason, maybe you are scared your significant other will find out, then don’t come empty handed to me! Bring me a token Tribute at base minimum. Make certain it is something I WANT not something you think I should have. Can’t figure out what that is? ALERTPAY.com (CASH) to shalamarsdream@cox.net if always great and my first preference. Alertpay is just like PayPal, they just don’t have the no adult clause. (OH and I should warn you that if you EVER CANCEL your Tribute you are done with me Period). AMAZON.COM E-Certificates to GoddessBellaDonna@cox.net is fine as well. GREENDOT MONEY PACKS give me the numbers and they better be good. Outside of that, I love E-Giftcards to just about any Book store, EBAY, BED & BREAKFAST Company etc. You have enough choices here!
3. Now you have shown me you are able and willing to tribute, and it is time to get to know me. Inside my Piggy Heaven are also my open online and real time positions listed which I have currently available. Pick one if you would like and apply for it to me. Be prepared to answer me questions. Don’t give me standard text book answers either. I want to know what you have to say for yourself, not what someone else wrote down for you.
4. From there it goes on a case to case basis. If you are purely money piggy, expect to be drained whenever I feel like it.
OH and before I forget it. If you decided to be one of those that disappear a lot from service without saying good bye, or letting me know what is going on. You will find that I can be very strict and very demanding if you return. So if you don’t have manners, don’t come to me in the first place.
If you are married, then be aware that females are only so stupid for so long. You will run the risk of ruining your marriage, don’t come crying to me when you do. YOU BETTER BE SURE you can serve me fully and keep your home running properly before coming to me. I have no mercy or regards for fuck ups.
NOTE: I will be cross posting this on my Goddess Bella Donna Temple Blog, and several other places. So don’t start commenting that you saw it somewhere else. I have about 15 Websites, it is very possible you saw it somewhere else. It however better have had the names Goddess Bella Donna, Mysteria or Regina Sunderland under it or it is not legit.
As always my words are not to be posted anywhere else without the proper link to me, and credit to my Name. This is intellectual property!
GoddessBellaDonna @ June 27, 2009
The importance doesn’t lie in the beginning of your journey, but in its progress and destination.
Posted in: Notes from the Owner | Comments (0)
I have been very pleased to have had the opportunity for some rather lengthy phone and chat conversations with one of my newest protégées, as well as a highly intelligent new servant of my Temple.
During those conversations, we have discussed some of the hardships new submissives as well as Dommes encounter as they embark on their journey. Often times someone will be judged by their beginning, their origin so to speak. I would like to point out a few things here which may offend a lot of people, but are never the less the truth.
#1 No one was born with either a collar around their neck or a crop in their hand. You may have been born with an attitude, a personality trade that in the long run has guided you towards this station, but that is all. There are millions of people all over the world, who by their nature are timid, gentle, submitted to their partners and are not interested or suited to being a submissive or slave. Likewise, there are millions of assertive, powerful and strong willed individuals, who are bossy, leaders etc., but are not interested in being either a Master or a Mistress. It is part of their mental makeup, but not a lead into a kinky or at least this sort of kinky lifestyle.
#2 We ask in this lifestyle or fetish realm for understanding, claim an open mind, want to tell the world that we are superior in our open mindedness, and yet it is often we who in the end condemn others for their lifestyle choices, beginnings and other jobs. I have been guilty of this myself a time or two, but am working very hard to stop this upsetting and downright juvenile behavior trait in me.
#3 The Titles do not make you a dominate person, but the power within does. You can read thousands of books on how to behave, how to speak, how to swing a flogger, tie a knot etc., but if you do not have the inner power, the understanding of the responsibility you take on for another human being, the love of what you do, and most of all the desire to be yourself, then you really are no more then a pretender. In financial domination, you run into a wide array of financial submissives / fetishists as well as Mistresses/Masters. Each one of them is different from the next. For some you need to be bossy, demanding and have an attitude from hell. With others, you win them more with kindness and understanding. A third one still, will only do what they want and when they feel like it. Those by the way are fetishists not submissives or slaves! In many ways, you need to be a reader of humanity, a psychologist and therapist all in one. You need to be able to be flexible, but true to your path. I for one lack the natural entitlement attitude so many Mistresses have. I do not feel that just because I slapped the name Goddess before my name it is your sworn duty to serve me. Matter of fact, if that is the only reason you would even do it, then I don’t even want you. I believe in giving back for what I receive. Karma is a real bitch and when you are the one always taking, she will take more from you then you can phantom. I do not fear this at all, because I have never taken more then I have returned in “value” to those who serve me loyally. My power and wisdom, my dominance comes from age old wisdom that is deep inside my very feminine core. I have found my path from the ashes that is my past. Trust me; my path would have reduced many of you to nothing.
#4 It really is all in the way you see things. I used to be an Erotic Dancer, a Burlesque dancer in many ways if you will in my late teens to early 20’s, and it is there that I have met and found my very first submissive client. Matter of fact, it was this particular gentleman who prompted me because of my being to learn, and embrace that part of my nature. I have been part of the adult industry in one version or the other ever since I was 18 Years old and in many ways I still consider myself part of it. I film clips for sale, does that not make me a “Porn Actress”? I move my voluptuous, beautifully chubby body to music while teasing you on my webcam, my clips, or while you are very uncomfortably tied up on my whipping post. My clothe are on, or maybe if I feel particularly generous my top may be off, but you can NEVER touch me. This is considered part of tease and denial. Part of BDSM, part of exotic dancing. Let me push you back a little further. Do you know who to me the very first financial Domme in history truly was? The famed biblical dancer Salome. She extracted a price so high, so dear only for the privilege of her beauty and dance. And there were probably many more before her. We frown down on exotic Dancers, on Webcam Entertainers etc. Is it the title of the occupation that we hate, or the way they have freed themselves from our own restrictions?
I will do a scene with a submissive via my Webcam, in a Web chat room. I will not give more or less than I am willing to give. I will tease, encourage, deny… for money. I will take the fee for my time. Am I really any different? You can be, and I often have been in the past, both. A powerful Domme and a Webcam / Film Entertainer, it is all in the way you present yourself and hold yourself.
#5 Nobody is as great as I! Oh please, get over yourself. You may have a better body than me, you may be younger or older than me, you may have a different bag of tricks than me, but darling you are not the greatest. There is always ONE who will be greater in someone else’s eyes. We are ALL great in our own way. Even our submissive counterparts, are wonderfully made to compliment us perfectly. I am only superior to you, because you have deemed me to be that way. I am only your Goddess, because you have seen something worthy of worship in me. Does that make you scum beneath my feet or a treasure to behold? Financial domination is Goddess Worship or God Worship in a very old religious way if you please. Think Church for a second. Do you not pay your weekly tithe? Why do you do this? Well, when my acolytes come to bring their gifts of appreciation to me, when I ask them for a token for my time I spend with them, then this is really no different. Their life has been enriched multiple times by my being who I am, by my allowing them to live out their fantasy, their fetish at my glorious feet. My Life has been enriched by their worship, their devotion and their money. I serve in a perversion of the term, those that serve me. Get a true grip on reality, we each serve the other. Neither would be filled without the counterpart. Could you live without having a Goddess to serve as a sub? Of course you could. You would probably have a lot more spare money, but your life would be devoid of something very precious. Someone you can adore, worship, work for, come to and more. In one simple statement, you have been given a special reason for being who you are. Likewise, can I as a Goddess live without you as my subs? Yes, of course I can. My life would be a lot less stressful; I would do a lot less worrying, caring, teaching etc. I spend endless hours with my boys, writing these Articles, editing my photos, posting my teachings etc. I work 10 to 12 hours and many of those hours I will never be paid for. But I would be missing something, if I would not have a reason to do this. Without my subs, I am not whole either. Never believe that we don’t need you. We just won’t but up with inadequate service. WE may feel filled with a good and worthy, a devoted and loving submissive, but it doesn’t have to be YOU!
#5 Instas, bratty princesses and veterans. Well, let me put it this way. If there wasn’t a sub who is looking to serve them, then they wouldn’t exist. Each one in turn has a reason for being. For many we all have to be a bit of all rolled into one if we want to step further. I remember, pretending at age 18Years old that I had experience as a dancer so I would get hired. I know just what to say, how to dress, how to behave. I got all that out of a book, and by watching Shows about it. I pulled it off nicely and got the job. I was an INSTA EXOTIC DANCER for about 1 Week and then I became a newbie. I started learning my own way, found my own groove, became comfortable enough in my own skin to let people know that I really was clueless and that all I had done was just by imitating what I had read and seen. I am often upset by the success those “INSTA” Dommes have, but is it really their fault or mine, for being so damn uptight? I envy those girls who can simply stick their middle finger in the air, pout, stump their feet and demand to be spoiled. And some silly older guy who probably will give anything just for the moments’ attention of a young girl again, because he is trying to recapture his youth. Is that their fault? No it isn’t, it works for them and they do what they set out to do. To make as much money in as short of a time as they can. If I think about it, I should not envy them, but pity them. Because if they don’t grow up, find their own style, become deeply dominate within, then they will be out of the “Industry” as soon as they get older. Not a good prospect. I do not have as many submissives knocking down my doors as they doubtlessly do, because I am a lot more intimidating then they are. When one comes to me, he comes in awe, in fear and is often a bit scared. They do not come to me because of my looks and pouts alone, but because of the power and inner shine they noticed in me. It comes through ladies, it does. The day where women in their 30’s are over the hill and no longer thought of as sexual is over. We truly have a lot up on the younger generation, because we have the experience, the understanding and the power they have yet to gain. Each generation, each age group has its benefits. We simply have to quit hating on each other and learn to benefit from it. When I am 60 Years old, I will still draw submissive males and females to me. Not because of my looks, but because I am wise, loving, demanding, sweet, cruel, enticing and ultimately powerful. This will never go away, contrasting to my looks, which will fade in time.
I am extremely proud of my beginnings. I have seen and done things, that I may wish would not have been necessary, but I have learned so many things from them when it comes to males thinking, behavior, needs and games, which many more “proper ladies” will not be privy to. We each had a path we needed to walk to get to the end of our Journey. Instead of looking down on each other, being spiteful and hateful, why don’t we reach out and help each other? I have started taking on the occasional younger lady as my protégées. I can only teach them what I have experienced myself and encourage them to find their own path. I am currently setting up workshops for those interested in learning from me. Both genders, both stations (sub or Dom) are welcome. I will bring you back to the basics, and build you up from there. Not from a politically correct view, but from a loving power that will leave you both empowered, more secure in your own gifts and ready to conquer those who are less then worthy of your time. Of course I am also going to teach you about etiquette, protocols, how to establish rituals etc. Basic rope bondage or leather restraining and the essential Goddess Worship among many other things.
I am gearing this towards wives and their husbands, who would otherwise be too shy to ask someone. I am encouraging those of you who are “insta” at this moment and really want to learn from someone who will not think you submissive, just because you want to know what the flogger on your skin feels, or how it feels to be on the bottom.
I am offering this to those, who really want to make a difference in the coming up generation and are willing to listen with an open heart.
My workshops are not cheap, but they are also not outrageously expensive. Stay tuned for further information on them.
As always… this is my copyright material. If you are going to use it, please give me the credit for it and a link back. Thank you.
GoddessBellaDonna @ June 12, 2009
A quick Note of shameless self-promotion!
Posted in: Notes from the Owner | Comments (0)
I was not planning on doing this, but I am so super proud of the fact that I do have to take a moment of shameless self-promotion.
My very first erotic fictional BDSM Extreme Book I ever wrote is now for Sale on Amazon.com. I am so pleased, so proud, so happy about that fact that I just had to share it with you.
Title: All in Time – Book 1 Egypt
Description: When on an Archeological Dig an Amulet is found. It is kept in the tent where I sleep near by. Suddenly I wake up in ancient Egypt. From the Bath house to the Slave Auction, my training and uses are not for the faint of heart. I am pony trained, bound and analy used and much more. Cum and join my adventure in Egypt. The Tent of the Whip Masters awaits.
Publisher: Regina Kamrud
Copyright Year: © 2007
Language: English
Country: United States
Keywords: fictions, adult, bdsm, ponyplay, slave, masters, extreme, whip, Fiction, Literature, Erotica, S, M
Click here to purchase the Book!
This Book was written from the perspective of a female slave, so for those of you Sissy Gurls this may be fun as well to read. It was my first ever Adult Book released via Lulu.com Print on Demand Publishing Company, who have chosen my book last week and have made it available for sale via Amazon.
The Cost of the Book is only $9.50 plus S&H and I would love to see it being pushed up into the Amazon Best Seller List. So won’t you make me happy as a thank you for all the teaching and preaching I do here and do your part by purchasing a copy?
Thanks!
Goddess Bella Donna
GoddessBellaDonna @ May 30, 2009
Tell me your parenting style and I will tell you what sort of Domme you are.
Posted in: Advice for new Dommes and subs | Comments (1)
Before I get started on this Article let me put it in perspective for some of you more “foolish” souls, because that I feel it necessary to even clarify these coming words is disturbing to me in its own way. I do not condone in any way, shape or form involvements with a Minor in a sexual manner. Matter of fact personally I think adults sexually going after kids is sick, add incest into it and to me you need a hole – 6 ft under if I make myself clear.
I would hope that as a financial Domme you would not consider engaging in a sexual act for money with your submissives, because in that case you have crossed over into prostitution, which is an entirely different horse of a different color.
Again, take a good, hard look at the way I worded it. ENGAGING in a sexual act for money with your submissive, not if you are in an actual real time (couple) relationship with your submissive and financial domination is part of it.
I do not consider comparing your “parenting style” with your style as a Domme (remember this is fetish based) as crossing the line, because in neither occasion you should be sexually involved. Boy do I hope I made this clear, because the first ignorant comment I get, will be blasted.
In many ways, I as a Domme have to “raise” my new submissive to act and behave in a way that I find pleasing, acceptable and worthy of my name. I need to drill certain rituals and routines into them until they become second nature.
In many ways the behavior of a collared sub or even a sub under consideration, reflects back on the Domme. Be it fair or not, it is a fact.
Now let’s look at the way the world sees you and your offspring. Do they not also see the behavior of your youngsters and automatically judge you as the parent? Even up to these now so “enlightened” days that is still happening. Did you not also have to spend endless hours of having to teach them certain things?
Perhaps now you can start seeing the connection.
I have learned over time that when I deal with a submissive I often act, react, train, discipline, punish etc along the same principalities that I used in raising my kids. I would allow certain “mistakes” to happen for a certain amount of time, before I would invoke disciplinary actions, where as in other cases even one misstep would bring about instant disciplinary actions without mercy. I realized that I looked at their “confusion” to some of my Orders as often times an excuse to try to get out of things and so started acting the same way with them as I would with my offspring when I set down my Orders or Rules. By the end of this behavior, neither had an excuse in “I didn’t understand that” or “ I was confused”. By the time the Rule or Order is in affect there are no doubts left or you should have addressed them with me then.
To address this issue I will showcase to you my personal “parenting” style or submissive “training” style. Again none of the subjects, topics or areas are of a sexual nature, but rather everyday, normal, commonsense behaviors that allow us as Fetishists or BDSMer’s to actually live our Lifestyle of choice out in the open without fear of recrimination. I call it my Goddess Manners and acceptable behavior Rules.
#1 You will never wonder why I give an order or about the consequences if you disobey it.
The one thing that I find very annoying when witnessing with others is the tendencies for parents to tell their kids to do something that appears to make no sense. Even more so with an adult submissive you will run into a problem. If it doesn’t make sense to the Person they are less willing to get it done. I understand that in a perfect dream world of BDSM, you as the “superior” would only have to give the order and the person mindlessly will do it. That is actually not just stupid, but also in some cases dangerous.
Some orders should never have to be explained, but sadly in some cases what seems 100% obvious to you, may not seem that way to another person.
I made it a Rule when dealing with my kids that I always gave an order clearly, gave them reason why I made the Rule and also what would happen to them if they broke my Rule.
Since we are dealing with financial domination I will talk about a money rule. Being on time! When my Kids got old enough to earn their own money (allowances for chores, extra work they would do for me to make things easier for me, or little odd and end jobs they would do for friends and neighbors) they were fined when they were not on time coming home, for dinner, for an appointment etc.
A conversation would look something like this:
I, or anyone else, should never be made to wait if you can help it. You should always be on time or preferably a few minutes early. If you can’t be on time it is only polite to call and inform the person that you will be running behind and give them a choice to wait or reschedule with you. Remember that not only your life is important, but theirs too.
That was the Order. BE on Time for any appointment you have agreed to.
The usual objections: Something could have come up! Maybe I was delayed somewhere. I forgot to the time, because I was so busy. I didn’t know what time it was. They can wait a moment, if they agreed to meet me they didn’t have anything else to do. But others are always late. (Sounds familiar?)
The reinforcement: If something important came up you can call as soon as you know. You should ALWAYS give yourself plenty of time to get where you have to be, so leave early if you must. They agreed to make time for you, not that they didn’t have anything better to do. They honored you, but putting you first! Yes, and I never wait longer then 5 to 10 min. on anyone, before I walk away.
The Reasons for my Order: Number 1 politeness of course. It is highly annoying to me personally how others take your time for granted these days. Number 2, your being late may hinder that person in filling a promise they have made to someone else, because they have to wait on you and now look and feel bad. Your actions, cause a ripple effect.
And on your selfish level…you would not like to have it done to you!
The consequence: A Fine. I used to charge them 25 cents for every minute they were late, without calling me to let me know that they were going to be ok, why they were late and how late they would be. Starting at 5 minutes after the time I set. I did it then and it only took a few times, before they learned not to do that again. UP to this day (and my kids are all grown up and out of the house), when they have an appointment with me and are running late they call me to let me know what it going on. I of course have always given them the same courtesy.
With my submissives I hold it the same way. An assignment is due on time, a meeting is due on time. When I assign it to you, I always ask you first if you can get it done in time for me and once you say “Yes Ma’am.” the order is set. You have entered a verbal agreement with me, which is binding as far as I am concerned. Don’t get it turned in on time, don’t show up in time and you will be fined by me. Nothing will happen for you again until that fine is paid to me.
#2 Discipline is there not to be mean, but to teach you safe and correct behavior. I do it because I like / love you.
I seldom punish, but I do discipline frequently. As you grow in age and understanding those disciplinary actions will become less frequent, but more extreme as I know you should by now have learned better. Your freedoms and privilege will also increase as you learn to walk within my guidelines.
Every Parent hears this at least a few times in their life. “I hate you”, “You are so unfair”, “XYZ is allowed to do it, you just don’t want me to have fun.”, “if you cared about me, you wouldn’t punish me like that”.
The first time I heard the dreaded “I hate you” it almost ripped my heart apart. I knew it would come, but I was not prepared for it. The equivalent form of that sentence for a sub would be “You are a fucking Bitch!” or “Or I don’t want to serve you anymore”. Not because of legit reasons, but because he/she didn’t get their way.
Now for me, no matter how much it hurt I had to show them who was in charge. I could have simply did as so many others would have done and scream and yell at them, sent them to their rooms, threaten to wash their mouth out etc, or handle it the way I did.
I simply stood there and said “Thank you for letting me know, because now I can treat you differently then those that know I do this because I love them, not because I want to be mean.” It worked each time, my kids would stop in their tracks.
See here is your choice, you can either live by the Rules you agreed to uphold and be very comfortable, happy and content, or you can break them and either accept the discipline and learn from it or leave. “Ouch.”
Do I ever want to see any of them go? Of course not, but by putting it in perspective they understand that I won’t be pushed around. Again I had already explained my rules to them to begin with, so that excuse was null and void. By being consistent with my Discipline they knew that I meant business and were less tempted.
#3 Being disciplined, fined etc doesn’t make the Order Null and void. You are still responsible to get it done!
With my kids it was cleaning their room, doing the dishes or helping with the laundry. They figured if I fined them for not doing their chores when it was their turn, they had paid their way out of it. NO! You now have a double whammy. You lost money and you still have to get it done. Sorry Charlie!
Submissives I found are the same way. They figure that if I give them an Assignment, a deadline and they “forget about it” or “weren’t able to do it” and fined them for it, they are done and don’t have to do it anymore. After all they got fined right? NO, you got fined as a disciplinary action. I took money that you did not give freely to me in order to remind you to get the work part of your servitude to me done, but that doesn’t mean you paid your way out of it. I did agree to be hired to do it for you.
I simply expect it to be done the next time I check.
#4 Privileges have to be earned! Show me I can trust you!
My word is my credit and if you haven’t noticed that I talk a lot, explain a lot, teach a lot and show where I am coming from, than you need to go back to square one now please. I do not make promises that I don’t intent on holding. Yes, I do sometimes have to beg out because I can simply not get it done, but that is never without a very good reason. You will earlier hear me say, I will try to have it done then …it will be done. Once I say, ok I will do this. It is done period!
So as far as I am concerned I have proven myself over and over already again to those around me. Now it is your turn. Special privileges that you would not naturally have from me until I have seen you being dependable are one of those things with me.
With my kids it was a big ticket item they wanted, a pet maybe, longer times out in the evening or perhaps an outing with someone else. My leash “control” used to be very tight, but as they shown me that they could handle the responsibility that came with the privileges then I would let go a bit more. Let them have a bit more each time. With my submissives it is the same way. The longer and more faithfully they serve me, the less I have to discipline, the more they please me with thoughtful behavior which I don’t have to stand on, the deeper their privileges with me will become. I am much more giving and free with people who have proven their responsible and well mannered behavior towards me then those who just hold their hands out and “expect”.
As always my writing is copyright to me. If you would like to post it somewhere else, then please make certain you give me the credit for my words and a link back! Thank you.
GoddessBellaDonna @ May 30, 2009
Slave Contracts – Who, How, Where & Why
Posted in: Advice for new Dommes and subs, D/s relationship advise | Comments (0)
In “regular” BDSM Lifestyle the highest goal is to be allowed to go to being fully collared and have the great privilege of signing a “Slave Contract”. To many online submissives that too is still a dream that they hold very dear to their hearts. That is until the coveted day finally arrives and the Contract in question is being offered by the Master/ Mistress/ Dom/ Domme etc.
Now suddenly the reality starts setting in. A contract is binding, is not something you can walk away from without serious repercussions and in many ways is for life. Depending on which Contract we speak of, they can go for a timed period (training or short term position) to a full Ownership / Property which in ideal circumstances will go until one of the participants dies. A very exciting and also very scary thought for many submissives, isn’t it.
Now, again let us put a dose of reality into this. No matter what you may wish to be true, we must understand that this Contract is only binding to ourselves and our honor. It would never stand up in a Court of Law and matter of fact could cause both parties quiet a few problems, should they be stupid enough to try to take legal actions against each other. I do hope that we are all on the same page about that one here.
I have often been asked by several different Mistresses if I knew a website that had good standard slave contracts that she could just print and send to her boy. I am very sorry, but my answer always has to be no to this one. Just like I don’t believe in “registering” my boys in an online “Slave Registry” for many common sense reasons, neither do I believe in using “generalized” and standard slave contracts.
Each slave is an individual with very specific needs, desires, gifts and offerings that he/she brings to their potential “Owner”. Each has undergone a different journey to this point and in some cases has a different destination ahead of him/her. For me to use such a “run of the Mill” contract that someone other then either of us thought up would be not only an injustice to the sanctity of this very honorable position, but also demeaning in my eyes to my-self (I can’t think for myself?) and my slave (he/she can’t think for them-self?).
So how do I work this particular situation? Simple, if it is a times or position based contract that I wish to extend then I will write the Contract and offer it after a consideration period to the particular applicant. Since this is not a lifetime position or even a long term position it will be a very basic contract, clearly stating the position and time frame in question. It will cover the requirements of said position and the “how to fill them”. It will show clearly, what will happen (disciplinary actions) if the position is not filled as has been agreed upon (time frame and amount / work). It will have a safeguard (in case of emergencies coming up for the slave – loss of job (will have to be proven), sudden long term illness (again subject to proof), or unforeseen circumstances (family illness, travel for job, etc) in which case an extension will be granted without penalties). A buy out will also be written in, incase the person is not able to fill the position or has ended up changing his/her mind and wishes to do the honorable thing. In that case, they can use the “buy out” clause to end the contract without causing the Mistress any undue inconveniences. (For financial Domination). Remember not to be honorable, can cause you potential problems in finding a new Mistress later on. We do talk to each other and often comments on the Internet are widely available.
In the case of a long term or lifetime slavery, I require to slave to put a lot of work in. Instead of me writing the Contract, I am forcing him to really consider his actions by making him/ her write the contract and presenting it to me for inspection before we BOTH sign and date it. In some cases I may even ask a third person as Witness to sign with us.
What should the Slave put into this sort of very old school and official type of Slavery Contract?
His/her real name, followed by the slave name I have begifted him/ her with. His full date of birth and location. The date he/she began serving me and what his/her position in my house / temple (virtual, long distance or real time) has been so far and he/she aspires to be.
The reasons he/she feels they should serve me in such a manner and what “crimes” (reasons he/she feels he is “inferior” to me) has committed that warrant a lifetime or long term servitude as slave. (Remember that is the erotic sexual fantasy part here. So if he is a dirty little cum eater who can never get enough cock – that is a reason he can add. If he finds that he is an “inferior male” in front of this particular Goddess in the forenamed position then that too is a reasonable “crime” to add).
The limits he/she begs me to accept and honor and the boundaries he/she may wish to have pushed in due time.
The punishments that he/she understands will happen if he/she willfully breaks the agreement of the contract (usually a punishment is removal of presence for a longer period of time, or dismissal in extreme cases). The disciplinary actions and penalties which may occur if he/she should forget his/her place.
A personal Note (often a worshipful prayer) to the Mistress / Master that speaks from the heart of his/her devotion.
If it is part of a harem/ hisem, you may want to have him/her include their respect to the sisters and brothers in service of the household and the understanding of his/her station in regards to them.
An alpha slave (number 1) will pledge in that case protection over his “little” sisters and brothers in the absence of the Owner. State the agreed upon rights and privileges, but also responsibilities in regards to being the right hand of the Owner. (This will be witnessed by the lesser slaves if possible). Remember that an alpha will be held partially accountable of the failure of good service by those under his/her care. Being an alpha (Temple Priest) is a double edged sword.
A closing Note with the desire that he/she may have his contract accepted.
Space for both signatures, dates and witnesses if necessary. Some of these contracts can be quiet long. In some cases up to 3 to 4 Pages long and will be doubled with one copy staying with the slave and the other for the Owner.
Now the contract will be delivered respectfully to the future Owner, who will read it over carefully. Question if necessary unclear parts and either accept it as is or will order revisions if necessary. Once a contract is signed it is standing.
Personally, I believe that a Contract should be revisited every few years and adjustments made as necessary. Medical conditions, mental conditions, financial conditions, household conditions all can change and must be taken into consideration at that particular time.
Limits change and need to be adjusted as well. Remember that as you grow older, your body and mind will change as well. You will not always be able to do certain things you once used to be able to do.
Remember that no matter which rights you may sign away in your “slave contract”, you still remain a human being and as such will have issues to deal with. Ironically most of the time some of the biggest issues mentally always seem to test you right after you have signed the Contracts and that is when it truly becomes a testing ground as to how honorable and dedicated both Master/Mistress and slave are.
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ALL MY WRITING is copyright to me and is not to be republished in part or in total without my consent. Feel free to link to my Articles, but please make certain to give me the proper credit. Thank you as always for reading!
Goddess Bella Donna
GoddessBellaDonna @ May 11, 2009
Gone fishing for money…
Posted in: Advice for new Dommes and subs | Comments (0)
Gone fishing for money!
Hello my little puppets, honored fellow ladies and a few people who I don’t care about one way or the other. LOL, quiet the address isn’t it. The facts are the facts however. I know who and what is lurking half the time on my Blogs and I can always see when my traffic increases to my Blogs.
Most of the time it is an outrageous Blog post that makes your poor cocks stiff and the ladies think if this is something they want to try for themselves. Stop right there buster before you take that wrong. I am not calling anyone a Copycat here, matter of fact that gets on my last nerve most of the time. There is very little in human nature that has not been done before, I don’t think any of us hold patents on what is being done. What is unacceptable however is the theft of “content or words”. With other words, do you own damn talking or thinking! If you want to copy mine then give me a damn link back and the credit.
So today’s topic is: Gone fishing for money!
I am talking about the base down advertisements, marketing skills and bragging posts of financial domination that you will find all over the internet, forums, websites etc. You have different types of financial Dom/mes (yes you keep forgetting that guys are often in this as well. Gays actually are a lot more generous with their Masters then most straight / bi subs are with their Mistresses) as I have mentioned many times before.
For some it is “the fetish they enjoy” and truly don’t care all that much if they do make money or gifts or not. They just like the attention and the begging turns them on. For them it is their “lifestyle”, but they enjoy the journey so much more then the destination.
Your fulltime Financial Dom/mes, who have almost specialized into this and they are both turned on, empowered and yes very business like about this endeavor. Those are the ones you will see advertising more, marketing their particular skills and be in your face about it.
You Sugar Babies posing as Financial Dom/mes. Now there is nothing wrong with being a Sugar Baby if you want to let yourself go down that path, but it is not financial domination in any way. However, they too are heavily advertising themselves and more often then not their marketing skills truly are up to par.
And then you have the cross in betweens of course.
Now, as you can guess I am in the second category with a bit of first category mixed in. I am very much about the destination, but surely enjoy the journey as well. However, it is part of my fulltime profession and hence I do demand to be paid for my time.
In many ways it is as if I am selling a Product I believe in 100%. I have to believe in that product or I could not be affective at selling it. The Product is ME, my time and yes my skill as a manipulative, seductive, powerful and knowledgeable Financial Domme.
If I do not believe in myself, then I am not only going to sink, but will also let others walk straight over me. Ever since “financial domination” has become popular and almost mainstream, it has changed a lot from what it used to be. Now it is really more about the instant gratification of the submissive then the adoration and worship of the Mistress. It has largely become a “TRADE” to be completed. Don’t even bother putting your nose up in the air about that one. This is fetish straight talk, remember?
No Mistress is going to waste her time anymore with “subs” for long until they have proven to be worthy of her attention. You see with so much written text on the internet, any idiot now can read and repeat what they find. Nobody can tell on the internet if that person is real, truly feeling what they say or not. You are hidden behind a big smoke screen and largely it becomes an illusionary feat. So, is it prudent to not get too invested into a new seeker? I would say so.
But what about the submissives? How can they find out if the Lady is real or not. DO YOUR HOMEWORK! I have said that so often before. Research the lady a little. A Website alone doesn’t make you a financial Domme. A famous name or being on tons of financial domination fetish sites doesn’t either. You can brag about your accomplishments until the cows come home and it still can be made up or copied.
However, have a chat with the person sometime in one of the Chat rooms sometime and really listen to how she answers questions. Can she answer question. See where all you can find her on the internet. Does she have other interests? How is she represented?
This will tell you a lot about this person. I am all over the internet under Goddess Bella Donna, Regina Sunderland (my real name and the one I write under), Mysteria on Niteflirt and several others. I interlink just about everything I do, so you can get the big picture of who you are dealing with.
If you want to chat with me in private on my Yahoo Messenger you can, but be prepared to at least show your appreciation of my work and time.
Reality is that NOTHING is ever for FREE. Not for me and not for you either. You want to be turned on and I want your money. You love me and I love your money. You amuse me (if you are lucky) or even your money won’t be enough to keep me sticking around.
I put a lot of time and effort into what I do. Again I am my own Product which I foster, develop, care for and yes market 150% of the Time. I will make a sell so to speak and you are my prospective “Costumer”, only you don’t get to call the shots. I DO.
Is there a money back guarantee? NO, although I had plenty of boys be shit heads and give gifts just to cancel them after they got off. That is also part of what you have to accept and deal with. Like I said…. Gone fishing for money.
Every time you see one of the Blog Posts coming up, it is fishing for money. Fishing for someone that a. has the funds to tribute, b. gets off tributing so he/she will return often, c. will amuse you so you are willing to deal with them repeatedly, d. advance you further both in mind and finances.
DON’T STOP THERE. Learning from what you have done wrong is also part of fishing for money. What is the ultimate Goal of a financial Domme? Come on think!
To find high quality piggies, cash cows, money slaves who are both willing and able to tribute her in an agreed upon fashion, who will be both amusing and loyal as much as possible. To find a “large” quantity of “tribute as they go” piggies (fly by boys or occasional financial fetishists who really are only into it for the quick satisfaction).
To have a decent to luxuries lifestyle that allows them to effectively find above named submissive and in the end have them help in providing the desired lifestyle, which in turn should give the submissive sublime pleasure and a feeling of success.
Here is the catch 22 however. By showing your intelligence and making yourself available to said submissives in more then the typical “Gimme write ups” you scare most of them to death. Greed they can deal with, half naked bodies they adore, a wicked mind is fantastic as long as it stays fetish oriented, but give them something they can actually “fall in love with” and it becomes scary.
Males by their very nature are “commitment challenged” and so you have to find the fine line between giving too much of your-self and not enough.
Finding your submissive piggies is really like fishing for fish. You need to find the right bait to lure them in, understanding the climate of the pond you are fishing in and if you see that it is too crowded with Fishermen cut bait and move on.
Remember that even the smallest fish is good for something, even if it just to “cut him up” and use him for bait for bigger fish. No I don’t want you to actually cut people up here, but I mean you have someone that adores you so much they can’t stop talking about you. Or you can tell them all about how he begged to serve you etc.
Readers eat that up, that is why so many posts are “glory posts”.
Use your mind wisely and don’t ever put all your eggs into one basket Ladies. Submissive males are much like children. They love to sample sweets, but are often unable to buy. Keep yourself innovative and new, but true to your personality.
Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, but be aware that there are 100’s of “Ladies” out there that are just waiting to cut you to shreds. So be able to back up what you are saying. There is nothing worst then a vicious tongue, understand what you are up against.
And realize that even so males are “disgusted” by that show of unladylike behavior it is just like female wrestling, they tune in to see the “”fly.
That is it for today. As always if you are going to use what I write, please give the copyright to me and a link back. I appreciate it.
I am working on a Book about financial domination with no nonsense writing as you see here. If you are interested in more articles by me, which I may or may not publish on here, please sign up for my FREE to you Newsletter. You will receive this Newsletter biweekly. Plus special offers for you boys which are exclusive to my Readership. Updates on the release of my Book etc.
GoddessBellaDonna @ May 5, 2009
10 Reasons a FD Relationship might fail!
Posted in: Advice for new Dommes and subs, D/s relationship advise | Comments (1)
Ok, drum roll please! This is going to be partially one of these utter duh articles that most sadly still overlook! So in order to be my lovely self _ Captain Obvious_ , I have decided to type them down for those of you, who seldom think past the dick or the money!
#1 You forget the word Relationship in the equation!
There is a super big difference between a casual draining, a fly by tributing and actually building a financial domination Relationship that could / would go to full Ownership. Most seem to overlook the meaning of the Word Relationship in the equation here. Which simply means, you are not only getting together to drain, to stroke or to “get off”. You actually have to be willing to get to know the opposite partner in a “non-sexual”, “non-fetish” manner. Which means you have normal conversations and are “loyal” unless otherwise discussed. Mix in the fact that you won’t have “sex” unless you are actually real time, in a couple situation and that is part of your agreement (24/7, husband / wife – Mistress/Master / slave/ pet/ sub) and you have an entirely different dynamic all together. However, since males by their nature have a problem being comitted and staying comitted (biology / psychology – don’t make me pull proof and schoolbook texts) it is never easy to build and stay in a relationship that is “not hands on”. So you need to be doubly willing to work through the good, the bad and yes the ugly.
#2 The Brain is in the skippies!
I grinch, and I mean I grinch, everytime I read about stiffies in either genders underwear. It is a natural fact of life that you will get aroused and since this is an adult fetish definately has its place, but when it in the end comes down to just the “stiffness factor” then you have already lost the Game. Why? Because if someone can not think past their arousal, they will not be in it for the long run. They are always looking for greener grass on the other side. Now since most males seem to get off on having a lot of “brothers in service” that may not be a problem, until you can no longer “provide” that arousal for your Miss.
#3 Different Brain Waves!
If you have a Domina and a sub who are on two different Brain Waves, you might as well click the heels and go back to Kansas. In order for a longstanding Relationship to work, you do need at least the equal Brain Power in each. If you have a sub who is super smart coupled with a Domina that thinks being cute is all it takes, but her brains are a bit on the lower region you are asking for disaster. Eventually the Boobies and the Ass will stop dominating (usually right after the first orgasm) until the next “oh baby, baby I will do anything for you” comes along again. Remember that domination comes with the mind, not just with the body. Yes, you do have to have an attraction to each other. Personally, if I have to put a plastic bag over your body so I can stand being in the same room with you there is a problem. But come on, it isn’t all about the looks.
Turn that around. A Domina that is highly intelligent and has a sub for service that still has an issue putting two and two together, then there is an issue to. She will constantly be bored, aggravated and disappointed by him. He just doesn’t have what it takes. Likewise he will be hurt and frustrated, because he won’t know what the hell she wants half the time.
#4 Making it too complicated!
I know a few Ladies who pride them-selves on their over the top high standards. Those are wonderful for certain, but when you get into a Relationship you better learn to do some compromises. Again not fly by or casual drainings here, but relationships. Why? Because NOBODY is PERFECTION. Get over it already, that is a turn on catch phrase. If you are so darn perfect you wouldn’t be here, because the world would already know you as perfect and you would be too busy solving real problems besides what color you want to paint your toenails today, for which you need to take a poll. Ok, that was harsh, but sorry lets keep it simple.
Make your Rules with the old Wisdom in mind. You can’t win every battle, nor can you fight each battle. Make the decision which is the most important to you and stick to them. Make the Rules clear and remember that every humann being is different from each other, so keep that in mind.
#5 Can shaking mislabelments!
Yes, I am going there! There is a difference between constant can shaking and making your wishes known in a precise way. If you can’t speak up about what you want, (males seldom are good at taking hints by the way – sissy gurls are too wrapped up in their own panties to even notice the hint) then you will never receive it. But there is a difference between your entire life is one big … I want, I deserve, I have to have, gimme, gimme now … and a mention in between other information. Now EACH ONE OF US LADIES, will blog, talk, or tell you what we want. The difference comes in how it is done. Blessing to those of you Ladies who I just did misjustice too and you NEVER have asked for anything. I beg pardon! Don’t go highwire on me. But in general, if you are in a Relationship and all you do is ask for stuff and never give anything valuable in return, then keep those luggages backed for your next glamarous vacation, because your wallet boy is going to get tired of you sooner or later.
#6 Poor little hurt me….leave the baggage at the door!
I am one of the first to admit that I flat out say, that I am disgusted with most of the players on both ends. The reality is that out of 100 Dominas and subs you MAY find 10 who are at least trying to be real about it all, and out of those 10 you have 1 or 2 who are and are always trying to get better at what they do with the shifting times. Guess what, WE are HUMAN, WE are going to get HURT. So here is the deal. I will honestly tell you in the beginning that I don’t expect you to come through for me, now it is up to you to shock the shit out of me and proof me wrong. I am going to do my part to show you what type of DOMINA I am. That doesn’t mean I am the same sort as Lady Lovelylocks, Miss AllZAT, Mistress Kissmyass or Princess Loserfucker… I am me! I have my very own ways, my very own style and I love being who I am. Like I said before. I am not perfect, but Iam perfectly me. That is all you are getting, you don’t get more then that. So yes, sure tell me your woes once and then get over it already. If it becomes an excuse for breathing, please get out of the fetish for a while and relax for a bit. Heal first! You need to heal for your own good. Rebounds seldom work out.
#7 What the blazes do you want?
Guess what folks, we both need to know what we want. If you don’t know what you want from the opposite, then how can they give it to you?
I have gents come on here and complain that “We demand too much and that it is not good to constantly have demands made”, then you have the opposite two minutes later. “I want to be told to give…Make me! But don’t be pushy!” Fuck me a river boys. What the heck would you like? How about I create you a little computer you can load the photo of your favorite Porn Actress into and then compute what you feel like doing today. There you go, problem solved, hot and no brains but those you give her. Reality check lovebugs, you need to figure out what you want first then come at us and then find the right match.
Ladies, same thing. Either you want something or you don’t. If you can’t figure out what turns you on, (besides shopping and spending they guys money yadda yadda yadda – read some profiles sometime they are better then the sunday comics) they can’t give it to you. And please, please, please don’t be surprised when a boy calls you out if you are a bit on the silly side.
#8 The human factor!
If it becomes routine we are out of here. It takes both ends to work on a Relationship to make it sweet. Both ends…
#9 We only call them boys!
NO Tomato throwing please! Guess what, we only calls the gents on here, boys, bois, gurls etc. In reality I would hope that they are at least to a minimum adult men. With other words, stop treating them like they are your sons. Give a bit of credit to their intelligent, until of course they have proofen to you that they are retarded idiots who still need you to wipe their asses and tie their shoes. In that case you can have him. I raised my offspring, I am here to have a wonderful fun time with my subs. Personally I prefer a Warrior Sub to a little boy that thinks he can any day. Why? Because I know that he won’t fall apart the first time I tell him where he can shuff it. Please, the term boy is a turn on phrase. Remember the first powerful female influence in your life * your mother*…. You are not his Mother!
#10 Liar, Liar, Pants on fire!
Pay attention to shifts in conversations sometime. You see those that always agree, and can’t keep their own mind in one spot. There is a difference between seeing the reason behind something and agreeing that their is a valid point, and just saying oh yes… because so many others have. How is that being a Liar? Because you are lying to even yourself. Guess what, whatever you say you have to be able to stand behind. I have changed my opinions on a few things in the past as well, and have openly admitted to it, but then if you go back over my written records you can see where I personally want to just take a big fat stick and analize someone.
Lies, broken promises, wrongful presentation of facts, slander, annoying people just to get a reaction from them, being an idiot just to get attention all those are forms of lies and guess what need to be done as little as possible.
GoddessBellaDonna @ March 20, 2009
Avoid useless Attitudes
Posted in: Advice for new Dommes and subs | Comments (0)
The way you present yourself to the world in the way you behave, the way you speak, they way you carry yourself, the way you respond gives off signals to the world about who you are, what you are about and if you are trustworthy or not.
Even on the internet, that is a fact. The internet is notorious for being a smoke screen behind which individuals hide. You can represent any type of fantasy to the world you want, but in the end when someone takes the time to get to know you, you will fail to keep the illusion up for long.
Showing a false front to the People around you is one of those useless attitudes. Not only are you wasting precious time (your own and those that are talking to you), but you are never really going to get what you are looking for. How can you, if you can not even be true to yourself.
Keeping it all in (Silence is golden) may seem like the more ladylike behavior and is named as the official high road, but in the end it is just another way of avoiding being labeled as anything other then “dominate” or “unattainable” or any other word that denotes that you are above reproach. In my opinion it however is not always the best road to take. Yes, there are times when silence is the better way to go, but if you never speak out your own mind, always just “control” your behavior, then in the end nothing ever changes.
Evolution and Social Advances where not made by people remaining silent. What would have happened if Martin Luther King would have been silent? It would have been the high road, but it would have been the wrong one to take. Speaking your mind, may not make you popular, but if you truly belief in what you say, then you should need to speak out.
Floating around a lifestyle that you have no real interest in, is another useless attitude! Why go to a financial domination website, if you find the idea of tributing repulsive. If you don’t get the fetish, if it isn’t for you, if you think it is just a get rich quick scheme or a get off quick scheme then you need to move along and leave it to someone that can truly appreciate it. Faking things to me is another useless attitude to adapt. I have a personal rule in my life. I don’t fake anything and that includes an orgasm. Why? Because it cheapens the real experience for me!
Pointing fingers at other people because they are different in their tastes, wasting energy on negative remarks, open flaming of others just to make yourself look better is another useless attitude to adapt. Just because something doesn’t work for you, doesn’t mean it is wrong. There are exceptions to every Rule of course, but 90% of the time this statement should stand.
Doing stupid things which will never benefit your development in spirit, training or financial success in any way is just another useless attitude to adept. In the end you can come off as a real jerk or bitch, and not in the right way either. There is a big difference in being annoying on purpose and just being naïve. When you think you need to be annoying to get attention, then all you are doing is getting yourself reduced to nothing. This means no time, no attention, no respect, and no regard. Do you really think that is a good idea?
Setting up a Profile that clearly identifies you as an individual of very shallow persuasion or behaving in a way that would do proud a street person is not only extremely foolish if you are trying to garner respect, but also a very useless attitude. If you have never even spoken to me, come on my profile and then suddenly decide I should be your friend just because you got lusty over my photos, you are on the fast track to a big fat no. Especially if it is not even accompanied by an introduction other then “You are hot, I want to serve you!” Please, don’t insult my intelligence here. You are not looking to serve me; you just want another Trophy for your Wall. No thank you, I am not interested. Likewise if your Domme profile is entirely made up of demands, no information and photos of you looking half drunk, high and flipping your finger then you are not really impressing the hell out of anyone for too long. This works for a short term, but not forever.
What is a useless attitude? A behavior, a way of being that does not advance you in any way. Does not do you any credit and worst yet, only makes you look bad. Be proud of who you really are and don’t try to be something you are not. It will always set you up for failure when you do.
GoddessBellaDonna @ March 4, 2009
The first Tribute dilemma!
Posted in: Advice for new financial submissives | Comments (0)
This is probably one of the most widely debated and argued about subject in financial fetish / domination. Everyone has a different view on this subject and once again I can only give you my opinion on the matter and the reasons behind it. Yes, don’t you find it fascinating that I can actually sit here and tell you why I consider something as “the thing to do” instead of simply telling you …”Because I said so!”
If you would be at my feet right now, you would see a very warm smile coming over my face. That statement didn’t go well with any of us when we grew up, so why should it work now?
To me a first Tribute is a two part show of faith and ability by the submissive towards the Mistress/Master whom he/she had chosen to serve. You have to understand that there are so many charlatans out there, and with the Internet being so wide ranged it has gotten even worst, that truly I believe very few anything anymore.
Before you, the submissive pipe up and tell me that is why you don’t believe you should be required to tribute the person until you are satisfied that this person knows what they are doing and you have talked to them for a long long time, let me explain it like that. You would not go to a Doctor and say. I will not pay you until you have performed the surgery, have done ALL the work and then when I feel healthy again I will pay you. Maybe!
Now, here is my personal input on this. First of all, take a look around and pay attention. If this person is on the internet and you are embarking on an online only internet based financial domination servitude then it is reasonable to say that the lady in question should have SOMETHING up somewhere.
Now not everyone is as extensive as I am, because well I did make this and other areas of BDSM my 24/7, which means I devote a lot of time into not only my submissives, my piggies and acolytes, but also do work like this in teaching about it for those of you who are new and trying to find their way around. I made this my 24/7 because I love what I do. It is my life quiet literally and I do enjoy my submissives, piggies and acolytes to an extend that many couldn’t even imagine. It is a wonderful feeling to wield this sort of power and understanding, to be adored not for your looks alone but your wisdom.
However, as I said, each Lady or Gent who is claiming to be a Dom/me would have at least something out there. (Remember I am only talking online now) be it a Blog they update regularly, a website which reflects their personality or even (gulp) a Niteflirt account at worst.
(Eh GBD, you have a Niteflirt account too why did you gulp?)
Well, truthfully because I had my own phonelines hooked up, but had actual so called submissives rip me off on the phone charges so I returned to NF, which really does not have the best of reputations for being legit for domination.)
So before you went googoo gagga over them, you should have already done some homework and have gotten a bit educated. I personally hold it that I will give you a little bit of my time, but it truthfully depend on how you act, how you speak to me and if you are amusing in any other way then just with your money how much time you receive from me before I SUGGEST you show me that you are able to uphold a full service to me.
You saw the word SUGGEST, because at this stage I want to see how you react. At that point I also don’t put an amount on the first Tribute. This is the ball purely in your court.
You would be surprised just how many oh so eager subs are already out on stage #1, because this is where I hear the first of many excuses. Suddenly either their wife or GF is coming into the room, they don’t feel comfortable tributing because they are not certain this is what they wanted, they just wanted to talk to me. They can’t afford my Tribute requirements. Their credit card is maxed out. They don’t have a credit card. The list goes on and on and on. It actually becomes rather amusing at this point, because now I am guessing which of the 100 Excuses the sub will use.
As you already noticed I did Suggest not demand and did not put an amount on the first Tribute. MMM, so how can you not afford it.
I have let many of subs go with the final remark to them.
“You just showed me that you have no intention on tributing and that you are not able to serve. I did not tell you an amount. You could have simply tributed $10 the way I asked you to do it and I would have seen you are not only able, but also willing. Instead you came up with excuse after excuse when it came to pleasing me! Sorry, but I am not interested in being your entertainment or clown. You have misunderstood the idea of service.”
As you see, it really wasn’t as much about the amount as it was about the eagerness and willingness to do it. Of course as time progresses the amount will reflect, but in the beginning not so much.
When should a sub send his first Tribute? Well, really that depends on what he is trying to accomplish with me. I usually find those willing to give their respect and appreciation of me before they contact me as much more worthy of my fullest attention. But then again as I said, I give a lot without any repayment of sorts. You can get tons of information on me and from me, without me ever knowing you are even there. FREE of Charge, just like that article. Now I would of course be very happy and pleased with a submissive who would go to the side Panel and click the donation button and put any amount in. $5.00, $10.00, $20.00 or $100.00 , it simply shows me that you have appreciated the time I have taken out of MY DAY to talk to you.
But let us be honest, that happening is very seldom and a rare financial fetishist who simply does things like that because it would bring pleasure to me. Yes, those donations out of the blue truly make my day, because they show me that there are still those out there who appreciate wisdom and do want to serve for the sake of service.
So the most common scenario would be within the first 3 meetings. After you have spoken to me a couple of times and have gotten a feel of who and how I am. Will I give you hours of my time? No, I will not. Will I drop everything I am doing for you? No, I will not. But I will chat with you a bit, casually and just talk to find out who or what you are. Keep it simple, keep it casual and answer my questions. If you have questions that I have not already answered 1 million times all over the internet then ask me straight forward. However, and I am very clear on that count, if you are coming at me with turn you on fetish talk purely and it keeps coming back to it, then you will not be suggest but demanded to tribute. In that case a minimum Tribute of $50 to $100 is appropriate as far as I am concerned.
We are not on a coin operated clock. If you have already tributed to me several times and come on the messenger don’t be afraid to greet me even if you don’t have money that day. I already know that you are willing and able, and I know you can’t do it all the time.
But, and here is the but, I do expect you to do it again when and as soon as you can. If you wish to serve me then that is part of it. But that doesn’t mean we can not talk.
Those who have shown me that they are happy to do so, and yes I will gauge your reactions to it as well, are well on their way to finding a good spot in my Temple.
Think realistically for a second. In your vanilla life, who will you give more attention, time and interest to? Someone that is just a dead weight in your life or someone that has actually shown some worth to you? Someone that is always making promises and wants to take all your time up without giving you anything in return, or someone who is eager and happy to have it a two way street?
Well, there you go that should explain a lot. Again, I hear after you get to know that person well a lot. Well here is my problem with that one. You can deal with a person for dozens of years and still never get to know that person well. That truly is a cop out for me.
GoddessBellaDonna @ February 23, 2009